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# .
'The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play,
I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're fucking relentless.'
(, Thu 13 Jun 2002, 10:42, archived)
#
"i was eating e-z cheese on crackers on a dark bus once, and due to the darkness i could not see how much i was putting on. every cracker was a small adventure. they should market glow in the dark e-z cheese. a company that makes aerosols of cheese should not be worried about product integrity."
(, Thu 13 Jun 2002, 10:46, archived)
# .
"My friend said to me, 'You know what I like? Mashed potatoes.'
I was like, 'Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause.'"
(, Thu 13 Jun 2002, 10:49, archived)
# hahahahaha
"if you are friends with a tightrope walker, and you are walking down the street with him and he falls over, that's just fucking unacceptable"
(, Thu 13 Jun 2002, 10:52, archived)
# I love that one
"An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs.
You would never see an 'Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order' sign,
just 'Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.'"
(, Thu 13 Jun 2002, 10:57, archived)