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# How would you make virgin mary toast?
I've been emailed by Radio 2 asking me to talk about those ebay toast things on the radio.

I figure that a flat sandwich grill + template would do the trick.

But what material would you make the template from? It needs to be a low conductor of heat, and unable to be easily set on fire.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:46, archived)
# Asbestos?
(I helped save b3ta! Red wine and cheese., Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:47, archived)
# I'm wondering if ham might work...
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:48, archived)
# ymm ham....
functional and delicious.
(Spinkeh, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:50, archived)
# Some high quality salami...
might hold its shape better

Maybe give it a convincing smell, too
(I helped save b3ta! Red wine and cheese., Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:50, archived)
# there are few engineering problems that can't be solved with salami
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:51, archived)
# thats a lie and you know it
dont mean to be rude, but why did they email you?
and what will you talk about?
are you some sort of internet-distributed-toast expert?
*eyes suspiciously*
(I helped save b3ta! the nugga says please and thank you, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:54, archived)
# Katie Thornton was busy I guess
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:57, archived)
# Katie Thornton is a short arsed coke fiend.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 15:02, archived)
# too short to take lines off dwarves heads?
cause that'd be a shame
(I helped save b3ta! Iananan Formerly known as el-rodente, not that you care, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 18:01, archived)
# I find a stencil and a flamethrower works.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:47, archived)
# put vaseline on it
vaaaaaaaaaaaseliiiinee
(I helped save b3ta! my mum, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:48, archived)
# you can also do it
by dampening the bread before toasting it.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:48, archived)
# It's probably easier than that
'paint' the reverse of your template on in water so it stays damp and doesn't burn?
(I helped save b3ta! Hagbard ... it's been a long time., Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:48, archived)
# ooh
that's clever
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:49, archived)
# I saw them do toast with people's initials on on How 2
It was done by painting the initials on in milk. Good old Gaz Top.
(I helped save b3ta! giant_squid, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:52, archived)
# Paint
an image with water on the bread?
(I helped save b3ta! More tea vicar?, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:48, archived)
# You can buy...
...plasticky teflon-coated sheets that're pretty good for that sort of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:49, archived)
# *ponders



*ponders more



Nope...I haven't faintest fucking idea what you are talking about Rob
(I helped save b3ta! Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:49, archived)
#
www.nforcershq.com/article3264.html
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:50, archived)
# Americans will buy anything
(I helped save b3ta! Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:53, archived)
# you could probably do it with paint, actually
(I helped save b3ta! 0800221155 Coldseal windows, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:49, archived)
# Some kind of wood might do the trick.
It'd get scorhed a bit in the toaster but it would catch fire, and it wouldn't conduct heat very well.
(checkers, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:49, archived)
# Apparently
you have to paint (or spary) the shape in water on the bread, put it in the toaster. When it cooks the water has to dry before cooking to toast, leaving the rest of the toast cooked bu the bits with water on lighter or uncooked.

Never tried it myself, but it's an old trick I got taught for something for school... forgot what is was now.

Hope this helps?
(Smelliot, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:50, archived)
# Aye - a blowtorch might be your friend.
We used to use this grill-able catering cellulose material to wrap stuff in - wouldn't catch on fire. Might be able to find some on-line somewhere.
(I helped save b3ta! Just Juan Cornetto will take you to the lo-rider show n' flaunt ya on, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:50, archived)
# how about
a metal baking tray, cut out template. Use blowtorch to lightly scorch the picture on the bread.

Or write to Our Lady c/o Heaven and get her to wipe herself on the toast - Turin stylee, which is the easier option.
(geetoo, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:50, archived)
# butter
paint your design in butter hmmmm butter
then toast in sandwich toaster
(I helped save b3ta! toadfish, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:51, archived)
# ..

New Billy ElliPod Shirt
(I helped save b3ta! beaubodor blogless, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:51, archived)
# hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:52, archived)
# pffft
(I helped save b3ta! Megalowho? feeds beefburgers to swans, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:55, archived)
# hahahahaha
excellent
(burger breath, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 15:00, archived)
# fp!
woo!
(I helped save b3ta! bearhunt is drinking tea with wreckless abandon, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 15:48, archived)
# hahaha
that's marvellous
(I helped save b3ta! dotmund .co.uk, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 22:13, archived)
# pfttt
I laughed
(I helped save b3ta! Flash_Bastard, Fri 24 Jun 2005, 0:57, archived)
# 100% of Hull!
FACT!



/relurk
(I helped save b3ta! Waldo Dobbs was the new black, Sat 25 Jun 2005, 1:22, archived)
# use a small sheet of metal
and cut out the head shape.. the change in heat conductationism* should make a colour change occur

suppose it would depend on the thickness

.. then again, maybe something like olive oil spread into the correct shape would do the same job

*George W. Bush Science School
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:51, archived)
# or
a nice piece of cheese slice cut to template
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:53, archived)
# in fact, sod the experiment and have a nice piece of cheese`n`toast
I like your thinking
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:58, archived)
# ^^this
'cause my mum told me not to play w/ food
(I helped save b3ta! olivier8 (euroloon), Wed 22 Jun 2005, 15:01, archived)
# couldn't you just cook the toast
longer than normal, then scrape off some of the dark bits in whatever shape you need?
(I helped save b3ta! Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:51, archived)
# darn
there goes my idea for a hummus-animation. I had it all planned and everything, but just lacked the time. Now everyone will think its bandwaggoning.
On a more constructive note - you could maybe paint the toast with butter or something that would not toast so quickly apart from the image you are wanting to create, then you could retoast thereby giving the image area an extra toasting...
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:52, archived)
# Tin foil?
Beware of sparks and electrical toast surface mayhem. Probably have to fold it a few times to avoid an edge-curl during the creative stages.
edit/ off to the lab... will post results
Bread and water... hard to maintain good definition. I think I dripped on the left.

Bread and metal... Worked well, low template curl, high definition.




(I helped save b3ta! Three Dog Man, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:52, archived)
# Fantastic!
You practical chap, you.
(I helped save b3ta! Fronds are waving gently on, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 15:28, archived)
# Use some thick baking foil cut into the shape you want,
as smooth as possible, and put the shiny side up (facing away from the bread) as it is a good heat reflector.

Then use a grill (most ovens should have one).

EDIT: Thinking about it, if you're gonna be taking notes/photos as you work, doing the above, but using a blowtorch rather than a grill would look far more impressive.
(I helped save b3ta! cuntmuffin, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:53, archived)
# I remember now...
Linky for toaster printer
(geetoo, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:54, archived)
# crazy frog toast!
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:59, archived)
# Best... toaster... EVER!
(I helped save b3ta! cuntmuffin, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 15:01, archived)
# Tin foil under the grill
or

a presision lazer cut piece of 10 gague steel and an eleborate series of flame bursts from a jet aircraft afterburner.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 14:55, archived)
# you don't need a template
just buy a gas soldering iron and use the flame and or tip to draw your image direcly on to the bread

it works
(burger breath, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 15:03, archived)
# what he says...
or get one of those teflon non stick sheet things and cut your template out and drape it over the bread and grill or toast. Just an idea :S
(haveyouseenmywife, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 15:10, archived)
# GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 15:10, archived)
# i heard that if you
flatten the shape into some bread, either with your fingers or objects like pencils or bottle tops, then put it in a normal toaster, you get a light shape.
yay for FingerTips
(I helped save b3ta! St3cks, Wed 22 Jun 2005, 15:08, archived)