It's been revealed that the junior Treasury Minister, Michael Portillo, carries a sawn-off shotgun to constituency meetings, corners children in parks and chews their cheeks and has frequent sexual intercourse with stray animals, claiming 'As long as it's got a backbone, I'll do it'. That story we reported last week, and have since discovered it to be untrue.
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Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:08,
archived)