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From the Fat Britain challenge. See all 260 entries (closed)

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monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:15, archived)

aaaahahahahahahaahha

i had to get a special chair in for my last job interview because of arms like those :(

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:16, archived)

but did you get the job?

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:17, archived)

no :'(

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:17, archived)

Then they were bastards anyway

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:18, archived)

heheh, how kind, and how true.

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:19, archived)

You should have sued them.

It's all the rage these days.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:38, archived)

YES!

*phones lawyer

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:39, archived)

The wankers don't know what they're missing.

I hope you farted on their stupid chair.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:18, archived)

i think that's why i didn't get it

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:19, archived)

You can't blame mens for farting

that's how you show you're happy, yes?

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:20, archived)

that and our waggly tails

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:20, archived)

doi-oi-oi-oi-oing

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:21, archived)

HAPPY

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:21, archived)

(happy joy joy)

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:23, archived)

REN

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:26, archived)

STIMPY

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:26, archived)

STUMPY

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:27, archived)

Sponge Bob

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:28, archived)

Round socks

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:31, archived)

Triangular Vest

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:37, archived)

Ovate-spheroid undercrackers

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:40, archived)

dodeccahedriod hat

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:42, archived)

octagonal training bra

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:43, archived)

mobius belt

(MrCanoehead Marzipaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 13:21, archived)

Pentagonal antiprismal shoelaces

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:46, archived)

STOMPY

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:29, archived)

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:30, archived)

That's lovely, that is.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:30, archived)

^this

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:31, archived)

*awaits fp*

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:16, archived)

'lo

:)

*gently hugs*

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:17, archived)

'lo :)

*accepts hugging*

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:18, archived)

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

*snuggles*

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:19, archived)

milky yet?

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:21, archived)

a little

... is it a faux pas to grab a pregnant lady's tit and squeeze milk into your tea?

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:24, archived)

Only if you burn her nips

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:25, archived)

This is why i love b3ta, you say something cheeky to a lovely pregnant lady and instead of being disgusted she returns with something worse.

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:27, archived)

if you take yourself too seriously you are not a good b3tan... and you should probably be a politician or a ~~vicar~~ cunt or something. Join the filth.

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:28, archived)

Oi oi oi

you can be a vicar and be cool, you know. One day I'll prove it.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:29, archived)

do they let sexual predators into the clergy

... oh - wait.

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:35, archived)

pffft

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:37, archived)

do vicars take themselves seriously?

I'll tell you who takes themselves seriously: cunts

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:29, archived)

and arseholes

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:30, archived)

and spunk bubbles

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:31, archived)

and pricks of course

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:33, archived)

Meh, if I was easily offended I wouldn't still be here

I think there's only been about three posts that have made me do a sharp intake of breath

then laugh anyway

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:30, archived)

really?

which ones?

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:31, archived)

Oooh, now you're asking

One was definitely the 'what not to wear' someone did demonstrating why not to dress your child in football shirts. Made me go 'OUUUUUCH', then I laughed, then I realised I was going to hell anyway so I laughed harder...

I think they were all current-news-related ones. They all made me laugh, but think I was going to hell for doing so. I think they were all fp'd though :)

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:35, archived)

ah so none of the fails that belong on rotten.com etc

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:37, archived)

That's different

Those I just flame into oblivion

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:43, archived)

heh

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:33, archived)

a good non-safe search

"milking"

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:27, archived)

I'll try not to

also - I find it helps to distract said lady with cake while you set up your milking stool

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:29, archived)

If you need to set up a stool

It's probably not her first bab....

(Mrs Trellis GIN, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:31, archived)

HAH

Sagtastic

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:34, archived)

i've read nothing about it in de'bretts

so fucking go for it my son, just mind yr ps and qs

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:26, archived)

Fatties would just use the armrests as crack scratchers

Ha Ha! Fuck you Leonard Ball!

Fatties 1
Ball 0

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Joliet, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:17, archived)

any cunt names a bench after me when I'm dead

and they're getting haunted good and proper.

Also - WOO YAY

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:17, archived)

I'm going to name a bin after you

and put dead prostitutes in it.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:19, archived)

lol

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:20, archived)

I'm going to name a cupboard after you

and keep sexy carpets in it.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:21, archived)

sweet

I'm going to name a bridge for you and toss myself off

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:22, archived)

Either way I take this, I'm touched.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:23, archived)

either way you take it

i touch myself

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:25, archived)

Whooooaaaa

*dances*

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:27, archived)

#i don't want aaaanybody else...#

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:27, archived)

I was going to put that too

but I thought you might think I was coming onto you.

You'd probably realise, you'd get a wet shoulder.

Hahah, I love making myself giggle at work and not being able to tell anyone why.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:28, archived)

arf arf arf

0_o

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:36, archived)

oh my, sexy carpets

*rubs self*

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:26, archived)

covered in the spluff of the world's finest ladytypes.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:27, archived)

who wouldn't want to be remembered like that

what an honourable shrine

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:29, archived)

I am a lovely person. It's alright, you can say it.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:31, archived)

I am a lovely person

wah waaaah

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:34, archived)

GRAR

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:36, archived)

YOUAREALOVELYPERSON!

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:37, archived)

You KNOWS it.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:41, archived)

Hahaha!

;)

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:35, archived)

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:36, archived)

dont tell me we are getting another bin

weve got 3 already and now one for dead prossies? guess its helping the recylcing and I do live in Ipswich so im not surprised at this

(

The Tig and me, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:21, archived)

No, when you die I shall do this.

Then, when it's full, I shall send it to Tony Livesey as a courting gift.

edit: WRONG FUCKING ONE.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:22, archived)

what's everyone's favorite way to kill a prostitute...?

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:27, archived)

Angus Deaton.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:30, archived)

good call

*high fives*

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:34, archived)

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:44, archived)

you don't need to wait for me to die to do that

it's something we can all enjoy right now.

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:23, archived)

I'm getting confused, my head hurts.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:24, archived)

divvent fret pet

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:26, archived)

*cries*

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:27, archived)

why you cry?

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:29, archived)

My wife, she ees dead.

Is ok, I get a new one.

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:31, archived)

how much you want for

the corpse? I pay good money for eeet

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:33, archived)

TWELFTY POUNDS

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Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:37, archived)

hahahaha!

I'm going to put that on a bench!

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Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:25, archived)

ha ha ha

near an old folks home...

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Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:30, archived)

hahaha!

I was at Universal Studios in Florida a couple of years ago. I went on the Incredible Hulk roller coaster with my son. We sat next to each other. This woman (who had been behind us in the queue) then came and screamed abuse at me and my 12 year old son because the two of us had taken up a "big guy's seat" which didn't have an arm rail between it, and she said her husband (who was, you'll recall, behind us in the queue) should have it.

(Super Jet Shoes, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:18, archived)

I hope you shot them

its only kinder in the long run

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The Tig and me, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:19, archived)

that's being rude

not fat

:)

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:20, archived)

It tickled me that they *designed* the coaster with a "Big Guy's Seat"

There's none of that on the Pepsi Max Big One in Blackpool...

(Super Jet Shoes, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:21, archived)

I hope you were abusive, and I hope your son got some good quality swearing in too

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:23, archived)

awr

That reminds me of when I was in Blackpool a few years ago and a big guy got on the Pepsi Max, They made him get off, Poor fella

(TopDraw, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 15:47, archived)

the world = fucked

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:21, archived)

"I'm gonna find a hole in the world"

"and I'm gonna stick my cock in it"
"oh yeah.. baby.."

-traditional

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:24, archived)

OfficeLOL

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lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:34, archived)

He probably

didn't need the big guys seat on the Incredible Hulk ride until he got angry at you for taking it and grew massive.

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monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:24, archived)

hahaha

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:26, archived)

hahhaah, that's brilliant!

*click!*

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theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 12:22, archived)

That's great, nice brainwork

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grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 0:41, archived)

hahaha

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Grampa, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 14:05, archived)

haha

love it

(oller, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 19:59, archived)