Hernia
I have had an inguinal hernia for about 5 years; next week, it is finally getting operated on. For those who don't know , an inguinal hernia is basically where there's a hole in my abdominal wall, and my intestines are coming down into my scrotum. As I said, I've been suffering this for a number of years; the trouble is, it's not always there. Sometimes, I'll be completely healthy and normal, then without warning, my intestines will suddenly come down. It is very very painful.

Anyway, I first went to the doctor about this, around 3 years ago. The night before I went to the doctor, the hernia was really bad. At the time, I had no idea what it was; it was just a strange and painful lump in my balls - I described it to people as being like having 3 testicles. Of course, when I woke up the next morning, it was completely fine - my genitalia looked totally normal. The doctor thought I was MAD. But he felt my testicles anyway, just to make sure. To be on the safe side, he referred me to the hospital to have an ultrasound. At the ultrasound, I had 2 more men feeling me up - only this time, there was the added thrill of them lathering me up with jelly. Erotic. The ultrasound found nothing, and they pretty much concluded that I was making it up.

A few months later, it was really bad and I went to the doctor again; the difference was that this time, I researched on the internet beforehand, and found that what I had fitted the description of a hernia. So after the doc felt my balls for a bit (again, sadly, the strange lump just wasn't there at the time), I said "Do you think that maybe it could be hernia?". The words were barely out of my mouth, when he shot down that suggestion with a swift "No, definitely not." So there was that theory gone.

Within the last year, I've had another 3 men feel my testes at different points - the first was a doctor (AGAIN, no symptoms when I went to see him), who took my suggestion of a hernia a bit more seriously when I told him that I have to take Ibuprofen 3 to 4 times a week, to dull the pain. So he said that next time it happens, I should go to Casualty. So of course, off I go to Casualty, this time with my girlfriend, who is standing right next to me as this man caresses my testicles; she later said that she thought he was being rough with them, but started taking mental notes when I told her that it felt nice. So yeah, he confirmed it was a hernia, as I had suspected for the previous 3 years. I went to the doctor a few months after, just for a check-up to make sure that I needed surgery. That doctor kept doing loads of tests; he would hold my balls and say 'cough', and then hold my balls in a slightly different way, and ask me to cough again. He was so gentle.

Anyway, in conclusion, I never suffered a hard-on while any of those men were feeling me up. I still can't believe that I went to the doctor/hospital about it so many times, and not once was felt up by a woman. Madness



Apologies for length, but your dead mother rarely complains
(Mr Timmels, Fri 3 Feb 2006, 16:50, Reply)