two incidents of memory for me.
First was going through customs at heathrow, about to go snowboarding with one of my mates. Rather large line at passport control. Having already had a few sherberts, I made a witty little joke as an icebreaker when I got to the front of the line.

says I "If Id have known it was going to be such a long uncomfotable wait, I'd have stashed a far smaller blade up my arse".

Customs man then takes me to one side and gives me an extreme bollocking in front of everyone, and tells me Im lucky not to have him and his colleagues checking my ring out. Note to self. Forget icebreaking humour.

later on in the year, Im returning from spain to gatwick. Late night flight, lots of rain, and an electrical storm. As we descend to land, everyone hears nasty nasty noises as the undercarriage tries, unsuccesfully, to deploy.

Pilot pulls a turn, and starts circling. We hear the undercarriage noise a few more times. Peole are starting to look unsettled. The pilot gets on the comm and says not to worry, the problem will be sorted soon. And in the meantime relax with some music.

R Kelly's "I believe I can fly" plays throughout the plane. Ive had a few G n T's, so I shout out, "this is it people, we are going in to the ground".

Took the cabin crew a good few minutes to calm everyone down, before the undercarriage finally deployed.
( Dr Nick Riviera, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 11:22, Reply)