Aunt's dog
When I was 19 I was backpacking around the world with 3 of my mates. One of the stops on our trip was New Zealand where my aunt lives. Now, she lives on a farm that has a river that meanders through it, something I remembered from visiting her in my childhood.

We had only just arrived and put our backpacks down when I suggested a stroll down to the river, to a little shaded spot that was very picturesqe. In reality I was keen to smoke a spliff and wanted to get away from the prying eyes of my aunt.

So off we toddled down to the waters edge with her big fat labrador waddling along behind us.
When we got to the river you could see that it was still very swollen from the recent inclement weather they'd had over the proceeding weeks. The water was much higher, dirtier and faster flowing than I remembered it. It was such a raging torrent that it looked a little scary. I joked about throwing a stick into the middle of it to see if the dog would fetch it. We laughed about how fucked the dog would be if it did jump in the river - and how much trouble I'd be in if I lost my aunts dog within 30 minutes of arriving at the farm.

Anyways, we smoked a couple of spliffs and decided to make our way back to the house for a spot of lunch. Just before I left to go I absentmindedly picked up a stone to see if I could skim it across the water. No sooner had it left my hand than this stupid fat dog leapt off the bank into the river.

Oh, fuck!

We all stood in silence and watched helplessly as this dog was hurtled down stream at a rate of knots, head bobbing below the waters surface as it slowly became smaller and smaller before disappearing out of view as the river rounded a bend.

OH, FUCK!

We all stared at each other in shock - having only moments earlier been joking about this situation and all the various scenarios that may play out, we were now faced with the very real problem of having to explain to my aunt that I had, in fact, just lost her pride and joy, a 12 year old dog that I remembered from my childhood.

I really didn't know what to do - and being stoned wasn't helping the situation. We threw a couple of ideas out there.
"What dog?"
"It jumped in the river before we could get there to stop it."
"It was looking a bit depressed when we arrived."
"I guess it must have been it's time."

None of these looked like they would carry any weight so I decided honesty was the best policy and we'd better just go back and face the music.

Walking back I was so nervous. My aunt is a nice woman but she could be a real bitch as well and would think nothing of tearing a few strips off me. I also knew how much she loved the dog and how upset she was going to be. I was dreading this.

As we approached the house my aunt came out to meet us at the front door, all smiles and welcoming. My mates began to lag back, not wanting to be involved in what was about to go down.

With tears starting to well up in my eyes, I started to explain that I didn't mean to and it was the last thing I wanted to happen but I had managed to send her dog to it's watery grave. Just as I started to profusely apologise, the fat little shit came sauntering out of the house and stood beside it's master.

Turns out the dog goes swimming in the river every day and follows the river around the corner where it gets ouut and runs home.
(Creamy Discharge Freeze Motherstickers, this is a fuck up, Fri 7 Dec 2007, 1:07, 2 replies)

hahahahahahahahahahahaha
click
(Roopy all is not what it seams, Fri 7 Dec 2007, 1:57, closed)

Hahahaha, ace!
That reminds me of the Pingu episode in which poor Pingu thinks he's lost Pinga, only to find she made her own way home.
( Bob Todd whee, Fri 7 Dec 2007, 4:15, closed)