bloodsucking vampire tanks
Me and a good friend of mine decided that as we were in our early twentys we needed a way to prove our manhood.

Found a website selling crossbows, at half price too. Well that is an opertunity one needs to take, £15 crossbow = very poor aiming but resonably powerfull.
A weeks impationt wait.
Googlemaps provided us with what seemed like a reasonably sized forest, so off we treked in my van.
As soon as we were at the forest in front of us a good 200meters away were 3 fine looking deer. hrmmmmmmm is what we thought, 15 pound weapon vs deer, we stumbled all around the sides to reach the sexy looking beasts, gettting closer, fwappp. Some bugger had left half a wire fence in the ground, flat on face all the deer were no more. never to be found over the next few hours. No rabbits or any other furries, what a waste of camo belts on head (plonkers). stumbled over some shotgun shells and felt a little out of our depth with fellow hunters that must have been using supperior weaponry so we left.

The animals attack - more like insects in the form of ticks.

I had never heard of ticks previously, had a phonecall from fellow hunter the next day inquiring if i had any spider things stuck in skin, took shower and inspected body. Absolutly everywhere, looked on wikipedia to found out what was eating me and how to remove them, decided on pliers. 28 in total. when ripped out with pliers they would still crawl away on the desk, indestructible tanklike insects.

Led in bed a few days later picking at belly button, and you guessed it found another one of my friends in there.

nature 1
me -1

think i shall be kinder to nature from now on, god taught me my lesson in the for of tinylings.

lenght ? size of a mouses nipple

*pop*
(Lord Potato, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 3:39, 1 reply)

Fuckers
Ticks are nasty, nasty creatures. I've encountered 'em in South Africa, they'll attach themselves to a grass stem and will semi hibernate until they detect a passing body where they wake up and grab the unfortunate passing host.

If you pull them out of you, you'll often leave the head and jaws embedded in your skin which leads to nasty infections. Not nice.


Indeed, leaving a convict in a pit full of starved ticks was a form of capital punishment for some African tribes.

They are very difficult to kill as their bodies are rubbery and tough, but there are a few ways to kill 'em.

1) Vaseline.

Because ticks breathe through their skin, smothering them in vaseline suffocates them and forces them to remove their jaws from your skin.

2) Rubbing alcohol

As above, but gives the tick a monster hangover.

3) Cigarette butts

Holding the tip of a burning cigarette you your arse is going to make you drop what's in your mouth and turn around sharpish...

4) Salt

Stings when it touches your wound though.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 25 Apr 2008, 10:28, closed)