Clifford the big red dog
In high school, I worked at the local library. Since I'm a massive nerd, it seemed like the best job -- I like reading, and library = books, last time I checked.

Of course, I didn't think about the fact that library work = shelving books != reading them. But there was one time when it all worked out.

The library was putting on a kids' reading presentation, and they'd chosen a few Clifford books. They'd even gone so far as to get a big costume -- two of them, actually -- one for Clifford, and the other for his owner.

Problem was, neither "actor" had shown up on time. With ten minutes left to go before the show, I did the stupidest thing I could've done -- I volunteered. I put on the big Clifford suit, the gloves, and an enormous plastic and wool head that weighed about 20 pounds. Needless to say, it was like wearing a snowsuit in August. I was sweating so badly it felt like I was taking a bath. And the smell ... evidently I hadn't been the first person to sweat that badly in the costume.

In the end, me and the other person got ourselves comfortable in the reading room about five seconds before a horde of five-year-olds poured through the doors like someone had left the gate open in the monkey exhibit. I stewed in the suit for what felt like eons, waving maniacally as the kids got settled.

Another twenty minutes followed as I nodding in apparent sincerity at everything Clifford did in the books. I wasn't allowed to speak, fortunately, so we didn't scar too many kids for life -- only the ones close enough to see through Clifford's mesh-covered "eyes", and I can only imagine their terror at seeing the demon inhabiting Clifford's red fur.

As miserable as I was, however, it was all worth it when at the end of the show I stood up and all fifty five-year-olds, in unison, let out a whoaaaaaaa of awe as the six-foot-plus Clifford loomed over them sitting on the ground.

Now I know what Godzilla feels like.
(FleetlordVT, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:11, 6 replies)

Pfft
Sounds better than the time I dressed up as a chicken and had to pose on the bonnet of a car.
Worst thing was, that makes it sounds vaguely pornographic. It wasn't.
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:42, closed)

Chickens
It's OK; we've got a state representative here who used to dress up in a chicken costume in TV ads for his wing restaurant.
(FleetlordVT, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:48, closed)

Wing restaurant?!
Just wings? Really? Great as they are I just can't imagine a whole restaurant given over to them...


I'm hungry now.
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:04, closed)

clicky
for the godzilla comment!
(TheManofScience, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 11:42, closed)

Truly
your finest hour!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 16:31, closed)

Wow
To be honest I'm surprised that people of the age of 55 would be so obsessed with Clifford.

Ha ha ha, *gets coat, jumps out window*
(Martin1337 was trying and failing to be funny at, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 18:16, closed)