Happy Days
When I was 18 I was lucky enough to have a very lovely, large breasted, blonde haired, 16 year old girlfriend. We will call her "Jo" (for that was her name).

Jo's dad was huge, scary looking, a builder. Jo and I would get left to baby sit her younger sister on occasion. On one such occasion, we were doing what teenagers do in her bedroom after young sister had gone to bed when her parents arrived home unexpectedly and her mother walked straight into her room to find us in an extremely compromising position (we were having sex).

Fearing the wrath of a 16 year old daughter's father (as I mentioned, he was a big, scary looking man), I crept downstairs sometime later to be confronted by him.

His reaction? A big smile and the words "you were meant to be baby sitting, not making them!"

Amazing.
(stewiegriffin, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 13:20, 25 replies)

*paging AB*

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 13:44, closed)

huh? what's AB?
(stewiegriffin, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 13:55, closed)

Cruel, Mr E.
Heeheehee!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 13:56, closed)

I think he has a good point...
Well done E, my boy.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:02, closed)

Oh
I figured it out. Amorous Badger? Custodian of the QOTW fail archive? I guess I'll leave now.
(stewiegriffin, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:16, closed)

Don't leave.
There's no perceptible correlation whatsoever between being in AB's Fail Archive and actually failing. Stories tend to qualify on the basis that they:

- involve sex;
- involve eating;
- involve drinking;
- are short;
- are long;
- feature people actually opening up about themselves and their lives and being honest.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:26, closed)

Thanks!
That actually genuinely gave me a little warm glow. There are nice people online after all!
(stewiegriffin, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:35, closed)

That's because
it works on the assumption that people on the Internet NEVER do any of those things
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:36, closed)

I just figured something else out (having now looked more at the QOTW fail archive)
Is it because you think it's a shit story or because you think it isn't true? I can accept that it might be a shit story but it is true.
(stewiegriffin, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:25, closed)

No
It's because you had a tidy girlfriend. That is not permitted in these parts. She had to be a fat, myopic, ginger munter for this story to be accepted as true.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:28, closed)

Excellent
That helps me a lot actually, she was very nice, did have large breasts and was very lovely but she did have hairy nipples which was offputting. Seemed like an irrelevant fact at the time, but I wish I'd included it now.
(stewiegriffin, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:37, closed)

Happy to help.
It's a jungle out there.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:42, closed)

i went out with a girl who had hairy nipples once
Couldn't put up with it for too long...
(Kip, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 18:47, closed)

Wait...
.... so they are not all hairy then?
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 19:40, closed)

from my experience
2.64% of girls have them.
(Kip, Fri 29 Oct 2010, 9:45, closed)

Nipples?

(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Sun 31 Oct 2010, 11:30, closed)

hairy ones...

(Kip, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 9:07, closed)

And most of the rest pluck
See those extra bumps on the areolae that aren't nipples? Follicles, boys.
( Fronds are waving gently on, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 14:14, closed)

sorry
*hangs head.
(Kip, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 14:50, closed)

It's simply because this is the sort of thing that tends to end up in the archive.
I'm not actually going to tip off AB, because I don't think it actually is a fail (or, at worst, it's not much of one). I just have a suspicion that, if /talk find the post, they'll be all over it.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:44, closed)

Yup.
It's not a great story, but it isn't terrible.

/talk will enjoy picking at it though.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:46, closed)

I think that says more about the fuckwits on /talk than it does about this thread.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Oct 2010, 15:02, closed)

I hope not
I feel sort of nervous now that you said it like that. I'm not even sure why...
(stewiegriffin, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:49, closed)

To cover yourself, end the story with 'then I drove off in a Honda Accord'. At this point, it becomes unclear whether or not it is self-parody.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 14:55, closed)

I wouldn't worry
The guys have pretty much launched a pre-emptive strike against /talk. They rarely reply when that happens and they are far to busy talking about....umm....errr....stuff.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 16:33, closed)