» Social Networking Gaffes

Not sure where to start with this one so I’ll just blurt it out….

I found my natural mother via Friends Reunited.

The story, (in case you’re interested but a much shortened down version)

I was adopted by my Mum and Dad (who I class as my real parents) from birth and have had a great life to tell the truth.

My Mum and Dad have never kept it from me that they weren’t my ‘Natural’ parents and they always supported me every time I showed and interest in tracing my natural mother, this only happened a few times during my life though but they even tried to help me whenever possible, in fact they even gave me all the paperwork that they had from when they adopted me, so I knew real details like my natural mothers name.

Anyway to cut to the chase, I was messing around on friends reunited and typed her name in and well, bugger me it came up! I knew it was her because there were certain details that matched like age, school, hoped profession.

So I sat there (at work) on some shitty Windows Millennium Pc staring at it thinking ‘Well Fuck Me!’ I never expected that to come up.

So I did what any normal person would do and typed her a message (after joining the site so I could send one).

I wanted to respect the fact that her life would have changed a lot so I kept it as vague as possible in case someone else read it. Something along the lines of:

‘Hi, I last saw you about 26 years ago at ****** hospital, how’s things, bit about me etc etc… hope this get to you ok and feel free to message me back when you pick yourself up off the floor’

I figured this would be obvious to her who I was but no-one else.

But I couldn’t send it, I had the mouse over the send button but my hand wasn’t on it, not that it needed to be because one of the lads at work ‘Gareth’ pressed it for me! Cheers mate!

Well I got a reply within 24 hrs saying she was shocked and happy and all mixed up, so was I!

Anyway short version as promised – we met up, and I found out that I have 2 other Sisters and a Brother along with Nieces, Nephews, Aunties, Uncles and Cousins I suppose things have been going well over the past 7/8 years, we sort of keep in touch after the initial whirlwind of meeting everyone.

I’ve never asked about my natural Father, never really bothered me meeting him although the older I get (34 in 3 weeks), the more of an urge I get to trace him, maybe it’s me wanting to know if I’ll go bald or the big ‘C’ or something??!

I know his name and age, so if anyone has any good ways to trace then Gaz me.

Through all this my Mum and Dad have stood by me and supported me going through some very strange emotions guilt being a good one! and I’d like to thank them for that (well, I already have)

Well there you go really, that’s it.

Thanks, Friends Reunited.

(Sorry for length)


(Tue 16th Sep 2008, 13:09, More)

» School Days

Just thought of one...


So there I was lying in bed being rudely awoken by my alarm clock, I get up have a shower and get dressed and go downstairs for breakfast.

When I get downstairs I say morning to my parents and eat the delicious breakfast my mother has made for me, say thanks and bid them goodbye.

I go out to the shed and get my bike out, saddle up and start on the 4 mile ride to school.

I used to enjoy the ride as I live in the countryside so you got to see all manner of wildlife (I'm into that sort of shit).

Anyway I digress, so there I am cycling along whistling away to myself when I get to the village that the school is situated in (Weaverham if you care) Cycle up Lime Avenue to the school gates....
and they're shut??? Strange, it's 8:40am, so someone should be here.

And then it dawned on me, there was nobody about because it was fucking Saturday!

By bloody parents had watched me go to school on a fucking Saturday!

8 fucking mile round trip!

I was pissed! (off)

I cycled back hone faster than I've ever gone before, I got to the driveway and cycled down it (We lived in a farmhouse) turned the corner and saw my Mother, Father and Sister stood on the doorstep laughing their heads off, Bastards!

I stormed in and refused to come out for the rest of the weekend.


They'd even gone to the trouble of ringing a neighbour (half a mile down the road) to get them to keep an eye out for me returning so they could be on the doorstep on my return and take the piss.

Cnuts!




(Fri 30th Jan 2009, 11:33, More)

» Call Centres

Press 1
My mate once called the Guinness helpline number on the back of the can, the conversation went roughly as follows:

Mate: Hi I'm wondering if it's OK to drink my Guinness now?
Guinness: Sorry Sir, I don't get you.
Mate: Well it says on the can to chill for an hour before drinking.
Guinness: Yes sir that's correct.
Mate: Well, I've been in the garden chilling for 45mins and am a bit bored so want to know if that's long enough or not?



(Thu 3rd Sep 2009, 18:50, More)

» I witnessed a crime

2nd
Ner!

Anyway...

I witnessed a crime when I was about 21(ish) on a night out in Liverpool (funny that!) anyway, I was rather/very pissed and quite happily having a wee down an alleyway (a crime in its self) when I saw a bloke getting mugged a bit further down, had a bottle to the muggies throat and everything.

What did I do? well, I shouted/Slurred 'Oi! whacha doing'? and the mugger shouted back 'what the fuck does it look like'? in an angry voice, so I finished my piss, turned around, tripped over a bin bag and broke my nose, me screaming attracted my mates and the mugger ran off apparently.

so I inadvertently witnessed and stopped a crime.

Woo me!



(Thu 14th Feb 2008, 11:56, More)

» Get Rich Quick

When I was a Military Policeman

I had the misfortune/pleasure of attending Princess Diana's memorial service at Winchester Cathedral in September 97' (I think most Cathedrals had one at some point)

So there we were, in full numbers 1's watching all these old dears crying and it was then me and my mate noticed all the funeral booklets (I'm sure they have a proper name, but can't remember) at the back of the church.

Well when everyone had left we grabbed a load of them (about 20 each) these things were lovely, patterned card outer and watermarked pages inside, with all the words in from the proper funeral at Westminster Abbey including all the songs and poems etc...

So obviously these slowly filtered onto ebay early on this decade, it's amazing what Americans and Chinese will pay for a bit of paper.

My best one sold at over £200 from what I remember.

Cheers Diana you really were the Queen of my heart, and helped me out of a lot of shit.


Regards
Kip


(Fri 1st Aug 2008, 13:12, More)