Purchases
Several years ago, I used to work for a certain Royal Bank doing security checks on people's cards. Essentially, someone would be putting through a transaction (usually a large one) when a message would appear on the card machine telling the shop assistant to ring us. So they would. We'd ask security questions, the customer would loudly assure us that they were extremely rich and had loads of money in their account (for the benefit of everybody else in the shop, of course); and then we'd give the shop assistant a little code to put into their machine, so that all would be well.

So far so tedious.

Mostly you ended up with a load of irate customers, but the high point of your working week was when you found a card that was genuinely stolen, so that you couls consider yourself a Batman-style crimefighter. With a headset and little nameplate above your computer. So this one time, I had the following conversation (abridged):

Me: Blah blah blah how may I help you?

Shop person: Hi, I'm calling from xxxx shop. Can you do a security check on this card as we're a bit suspicious of the customer?

Me: No bother, can you say why you're suspicious?

Shop person: Well, the name on the card is a Mr. Elvis Tserivanga* and the customer's a white person.

Me: That would do it. *looks up account info* Can you put the guy on?

So, the guy came on the phone, I gave him the spiel about it being a routine security check, then we got down to business.

Me: Can you give me the first two letters of your mother's maiden name?

Him: Err...SB?

Me: That's not it. Would you like to try again?

Him: QZ?

Me: This isn't your card, is it?

Him: No.

Me: You know that I'm going to have to cancel the card, right?

Him: I guess.

Me: Can you put the shop assistant back on, please?

Him: Okay, sure...bye...

Shop person: He's just left the shop.


So, a very polite but dim criminal. How did he think he was going to get away with it?

*Not the real name, but that was the gist of it.
(Bernard Bernoulli, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 20:12, Reply)