uhm I dont normally do sad stuff
This QOTW got me thinking about beautiful moments. Like many of us I've seen many wonderful things and shared some experiences that will stay with me forever.
I've made love in a tropical waterfall and danced naked in a monsoon, within five minutes of eachother. I would explain more about that, but this is not a posting about nudie prod games.

The most beautiful day I had came a few years after the missus and me had been trying for a baby.
She has a genetic disorder that means her eggs cant travel down her fallopian tubes. It was about three years before we discovered this and that our only option would be to go through IVF.
Through some cockup, our case kept getting put on the bottom of any waiting list. This was partly due to her genetic condition and partly because she'd previously had parts of her lungs removed. They didnt really know what to do with her.
Finally we got to see an expert in her condition who was able to write the sort of letters that get things moving again.
And we were off, I got to experience the delights of wanking into a tiny jar to a jazz magg from Portugal (not as easy as it seems as the jar they give u was only about as wide as my bell end) and my gf got to experience someone sticking needles into her ovaries.
She was also on a strict drug regime, all of which had to be injected by me every day.
The first session was a complete failure, so we go through it all again after a break of a month or two for her system to reset.
Second time is a failure too.
We have our third and final try.
The morning we did the pregnancy test will stay with me for life. There it was, the lil blue bar showing us that yes it had finally worked. That day I was like a a grinning idiot the whole time.
Suddenly I knew why parents looked at their children the way they do and why whatever they get up to, they are still loved.
It was the happiest day of my life, my heart even kept skipping beats like it didnt know how to cope with being so happy.
I have never felt a feeling like it.

The next day it was all over. She was bleeding when we woke up.
Shellshocked we didnt really know what to say to eachother. The doctors patiently explained that it would be very unlikely that we would ever be able to have our own children.
The option of donor eggs fell by the wayside when her lung collapsed a year later and she had to have part of it removed, leaving her with severly reduced lung capacity.

So thats it really, for one day I knew what it felt like to be a dad and I will never forget it.

Maybe I should have just typed that. Maybe then I wouldnt be mopping my darn eyes.

On a lighter note, to help with her physio we got a border collie called Flo who is the absolute bee's knees and we frikkin love her to bits.

*edit* Thanks to everyone for the kind words and messages. There are some truly beautiful people on here. Its easy to forget that with all the goatses and nob jokes.
xxx
(EvilMeister, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 14:06, 12 replies)

real tear
im sad for your loss, hope flo can bring you a smidgen of the joy you both deserve
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:06, closed)

Sorry to hear.....
I've not got kids of my own either (although my ex was pregnant just over 18 months ago but due to the siuation we were in decided not to go through).

The reason was that my neice & nephew have had to come to live with me so I'm a dad to them instead of my own.

I fucking love every minute of it!
(TAZ220 Not giving a toss since, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:09, closed)

Words cannot express what that must have felt like
So sorry for you both.

Life can be cruel and there are many unloved children out there desperate for a loving family.

I speak as some one who was adopted and although my family had it's problems, I would not change one of them!
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 16:14, closed)

once again
'I like this' is wrong. And as well as a border collie, you obviously have an incredible amount of love for each other too. Patronising twaddle as it sounds, but you have more than many others find in their lifetimes :-)
(Bappage, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 17:55, closed)

This
is the right 'I like this' though
(Bernardate, Sun 8 Aug 2010, 8:27, closed)

i really can't comment on this
because i know there is absolutely nothing i can say that can make this better for you both x
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 18:00, closed)

So sad
loosing a much wanted baby

I was lucky and kept the next one, but every November 26th, the due date, I cry for the one who was not to be
(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 19:00, closed)

So sorry for your loss
*hug*
(epinephrine, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 23:56, closed)

Fuck mate I'm sorry.
My heart goes out to any IVF'ers, I can only imagine (or not) how hard that path is. Big love to your missus too

Exactly a year ago today I had an ultrasound that showed our baby had died in utero, hence why your post strikes more of a chord with me than ever.
I know what its like to feel the hope and happiness and wonder and all those other words that go with the line on the HPT, and it fucking sucks when it all goes tits up.
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Sat 7 Aug 2010, 5:08, closed)

IVF
One of my colleagues has just tried (and failed ) again. Words can't express how I feel for her and her husband. they'd be great parents, just as I suspect you and your good lady would have been. My heart goes out to you.
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Sun 8 Aug 2010, 20:02, closed)

It's just doesn't seem right...
when you hear of evil people like in the Peter Connelly or Victoria Climbie cases, seemingly able to churn out children like rabbits, and yet there are stories like yours.

Sorry for your situation. I assume you considered adopting instead?
(Neil_E_There didn't the Aussies used to be good at cricket?, Mon 9 Aug 2010, 14:39, closed)

aye
We did think of adopting, but then when the missus got sick it all got put on the back burner. Plus we are both victims of the recession now and trying to fight our way back into jobs.
Maybe one day, but not yet
(EvilMeister, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 11:37, closed)