Blood.
Hmm, not the best topic.

I once had a massive abscess in my leg, (left shin) I was in the bath about age 15 getting ready to go to hospital to have it drained that day when it exploded, all this manky, skinking dark red blood and pus spewed out like a little volcano. I screamed for my mum to help, who bless her, mopped up the crap really fast before it spilled into the bath and flinging the tissue down the toilet, whilst I lay there cupping my balls to hide my wee man.

Also once sneezed whilst I had a bad nosebleed in the car; made the windscreen look like something out of Essex Boys. Crap tale, but looked ace!
(ice9, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 14:54, Reply)