How to cough up a lup of cow
Our family went out for a meal at a nice pub restaurant which had just been opened.

My uncle had steak and was drinking red wine.

For some reason he decided to eat a huge lump of steak rather than actually use his knife to cut it and promptly choked on it a few seconds later followed by coughing up a cascade of red liquid that looked like blood.

We all thought he'd vomited up blood but then realised it was just 3 glasses of red wine. Then he proceeded to try and eat the rest when he was over the shock of coughing up a lump of cow.
(Pua'a ega-ega How much chuck norris could a woodchuck chuck?, Sat 9 Aug 2008, 13:50, Reply)