I went to use the toilet for a number 2
pre-flow, todger-in-hand, I looked down to check my aim. I was stood over the bin in my kitchen. Ran to the toilet to find that I'd put some rubbish in there.

EDIT - Got me numbers mixed up! I were doin' a number 1 in the bin. That'll learn me for trying to be polite rather than just say piss...
(Mud the Far Car can and will, Fri 22 Mar 2013, 11:31, 12 replies)

Glad to see I'm not the only one who holds his cock when taking a shit

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 22 Mar 2013, 11:43, closed)

Wanking whilst shitting is a noble pastime

(Mud the Far Car can and will, Fri 22 Mar 2013, 12:12, closed)

Wait, you hold his cock while you shit?

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 22 Mar 2013, 14:56, closed)

We take it in turns

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 22 Mar 2013, 15:10, closed)

I pissed in the bin
in a hotel room before. It had a mirror in front of it, as did my toilet at home. I only realised what was going on when instead of a tinkling noise, there was the sound of a stream of piss hitting a metal bin. No, I wasn't drunk.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Fri 22 Mar 2013, 13:42, closed)

Taking a shit whilst standing near the bin in your kitchen sounds a little more serious than brain fade.

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Fri 22 Mar 2013, 14:30, closed)

Imagine if you'd had to explain to anyone unfortunate
enough to walk in on you. I wonder what tale your brain would have formulated.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 22 Mar 2013, 14:55, closed)

I'm guessing his brainfade has dimmed the memory of what numbers one and two represent....
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Fri 22 Mar 2013, 18:02, closed)

I am also going to make a joke about the fact that 'number two' traditionally refers to defecation rather than micturition.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 Mar 2013, 18:10, closed)

I, Slow

(Mud the Far Car can and will, Fri 22 Mar 2013, 21:16, closed)

This is now my favourite thread of the week and should win.
Make it so.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 Mar 2013, 22:11, closed)

SHITTING IN THE 1940S, SHITTING IN THE 1940S

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 23 Mar 2013, 1:10, closed)