Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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Not me, but a friend who's a cop...In Liverpool, sitting in a riot van (luckily in the front, rather than in the back with 11 other sweating guys in full gear). Quiet Saturday night, not much happening, until a small crowd starts to gather. Extremely drunnk guy and his bird have stumbled out of a pub/bar. He goes down like a sack of spuds and mashes his face into the ground...blood everywhere from his Roman Nose (it was roamin' all over his face...). Mate radios local 'standby' ambulance to come and take a look. Woman comes over to van and bangs on the window. Mate winds down window to have abuse generally hurled at him. Rolls window back up. Woman continues beating on the window, so he rolls it down again. She points at her husband/boyfriend/punter and starts screaming that there's blood everywhere and he's going to die.
Mate:'What do you want me to do about it?'
Woman (screaming at the top of her voice in best Liverpuddlian accent 'FIX HIM'
Mate has to close window whilst entire van bursts into hysterical laughter...
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 11:43, Reply)
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