Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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FoolsI work in the Theatre so I tend to go home from work quite late at night.
This story occurs on the night of an England vs Scotland football match and the police are expecting trouble.
On one occasion I was getting a lift home from my boss, as we are driving home from work we see a guy on the pavement by the roadside in some distress and we decide to stop and see if we can help, both being first aiders.
I turns out that this guy has been out for a few beers whilst watching the football on TV, spent all his money and has decided to walk home. It's a cold night and the exercise and the beer have given hin an Asthma attack. So we call an ambulance for him.
Suddenly we have two police cars scream up to us from both directions (one coming the wrong way down a Dual Carridgeway. Out jumps a several policemen who want to know what's going on as they've had reports of two guys dressed in black beating the hell out of a collapsed man on the side of the road!
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 15:43, Reply)
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