My friend Tony...
...is a London bus driver.

He has many amusing anecdotes to tell, and here are but a few:

- When people scan their Oyster cards on the reader and it tells them they have insufficient credit to use the bus, they keep scanning it and receiving the same annoying beep and same message. Naturally, this irritates other passengers and Tony who now slackens his body so his head thumps the horn while making the charismatic 'uuunnnggggg' noise normally associated with the mentally challenged.

- A passenger attempted to board his bus but didn't have sufficient money to cover the fare. Tony's response was: "Take a seat, I don't care." When the passenger was found to be travelling without a ticket by an inspector, the passenger protested saying that Tony let him on. When confronted by the inspector, Tony spoke thus to the passenger: "I said I didn't care that you couldn't buy a ticket, and I still don't care that you've been caught."

- Once returned to the garage to park the bus at the end of his shift to see his manager in his rear-view mirror. Apparently Tony had a wee accident and didn't notice, so the manager decided to deliver Tony a missing bus panel his victim had brought in.

- Got T-boned by a Mercedes. The bus won.
(ElectricMonk is falling awake on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:13, Reply)