Half-Pint...
At Uni (a good few years ago... 1989 in fact), I was dating a young lady called Trish...

Now, Trish was a dirty-girl (no, she wasn't into that sort of dirt. Just had a healthy approach to any sort of ad-hoc "rumpy-pumpy").

She lived in shared accomodation in town. I was in a shared room on campus.

She shared with a young lady, Helen, who was so short she was nick-named "Half-Pint".

Well, their room was set out with two single beds side-by-side, a gap of about 2 feet between them (approx 1/2 a whale's snout in metric).

One night, after a particularly enjoyable session at the Garrick's Head (no - not a bird turgler - thanks), we perambulated to hers for a nice "cuddle".

Alas, Helen was already a-bed. And asleep. And snoring. So, we decided to "do the deed" anyway - keeping each other "quiet" with the judicious use of hands.

I'm on top, and, as we get really hot'n'steamy, I glance over to Helen's bed, to see her staring wide at us.

She winked.

Her hands were vigorously moving under the covers as I watched.

As I started to lose all control, Trish started to wail, and Helen shuddered, pulled one hand from under the covers and *licked her finger*.

****GAME OVER****

I doubt I have ever come so hard, or felt so surreptitiously dirty and turned on at the same time.

She'd gone in the morning to see her boyfriend.

I split with Trish later that week.

Haven't seen either of them again.

But Half-Pint is still in my mind. Anytime I feel I can't get there, in she pops.

So, getting caught can be good!
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:30, 18 replies)

Hell yes!
clitk
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:37, closed)

Grad u rike!
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:44, closed)

HO LEE SHIT
fucking right on. CLICK
(Hernandez Fiendish probably won't be here until at least, say, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:43, closed)

Wow
That is pure FTL
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 19:17, closed)

Yes.
Win.
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 19:52, closed)

Ahahaha, no. Not even a little bit of that actually happened.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 20:22, closed)

never happened you sweaty handed virgins

(Dr. Geoff Honkington woof, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 20:27, closed)

I CALL BULLSHIT
hahaha bless you
( FIEND, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 20:58, closed)

This is a classic of the 'sex lies' genre.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 21:18, closed)

What would constitute a 'sex truth', exactly?

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 22:58, closed)

It's a difficult thing to pin down, but I'd probably start with 'doesn't read like a sweaty-handed failed attempt to get published on the Razzle letters page' and go from there.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 11:23, closed)

Oh dear.
Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 21:11, closed)

I was wondering
When you'd find this.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 21:24, closed)

It's a classic of the genre.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 21:41, closed)

It is, isn't it?
It's not that I don't beleive that such a thing could happen, it's more that I don't beleive that if it happened to me or anyone realy I'd be creating posts on an internet forum about it.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 21:47, closed)

Textbook

( WormuIus, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 0:14, closed)

No.

(Archeleus hates cabbage, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 8:31, closed)

Sorry, guys...
Whilst some of you may not actually believe this, it did happen.

There are very few things that get permanently stored in the movies of your mind, and I am aware that time can change your memories.

Some things are permanently etched there, though...

Such as the first time you saw your Grandma naked.

Now, try and not think of that.
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Mon 7 Jun 2010, 10:15, closed)