I was only going to borrow it!
A long time ago now, in a rare moment of public spiritedness I allowed myself to be co-opted into helping out at a local centre for people with physical difficulties. A friend regularly volunteered and he asked me to help out as they were getting some of them to do their Cycling Proficiency Tests. I helped set out the cones and with various other tasks throughout the morning and it was hard not to be moved by the way they applied themselves, hunched over the handle bars, the additional concentration showing on their faces and making it obvious how much it meant to them. With just a little bit of leeway(being allowed to have more than one go at some exercises), they all got through the test.
The organisers told those of us who had helped to line up and form a guard of honour as the proud cyclists received their certifcates and badges. Understandably they wanted to "big up" the award and give the fullest acknowledgement to their achievement. This is where it got a bit embarrasing for me. I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was 9 years old and had never bothered doing the Cycling Proficiency Test. Furthermore, thoughout the morning I had noticed that pretty much everyone else was wearing their own CPT badge (again in an attempt to show that it was something that those without physical difficulties were proud of). Now, what I did next is hardly a great crime, and I was fully intending to only borrow the badge which I took from the boxful on the table (waiting to be handed over). I'd like to state that wore the badge only to show my support for the scheme, but in truth there was also a slight feeling of embarrassment that I, a so called able-bodied person, had not achived something that the day's cyclists (in spite of their "shortcomings")had. Unfortunately a couple of the cyclists saw me and assuming that is was stealing something to which I was not entitled, something which they had worked hard to earn, were understandably annoyed. They shouted at me and gave me a couple of short armed jabs.

So in essence, I was abused punched and humiliated for what was essentially a small act of egotism, and one which I would have got away with if it weren't for those peddling flids.
(Cave Duck, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 13:24, 7 replies)

Best one
so far.
(Psymon_Spark Jesus Saves! The rest of you take 4d6 damage, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 13:35, closed)

v well written well done!
(twiceydrinker hmmm is it pint time?, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 13:39, closed)

Hooray!

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 13:43, closed)

You mean
Those pedaling flids.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 15:29, closed)

I thought he meant
Those pedalling flids.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 15:52, closed)

Oh no, now I'm shit at bike riding and spelling.
Actually, I'll just edit it and pretend that I haven't even read the replies.

DAMN, I've typed the above when I meant to only think it.
(Cave Duck, Tue 8 Jun 2010, 16:32, closed)

I like this!

(Archeleus hates cabbage, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 2:06, closed)