Trying to be quiet when drunk never works.
Please picture the scene.. A young (read cocky) skintagain has spent an evening drinking with his new "posh" work colleagues in town. This is his first job out of university and he's feeling particularly smug as he's managed to convince one of his female colleagues to come back for some horizontal jiggery-pockery. The only problem is that he is still living with his mum, its 3am and he realises hes doesn't have his house keys.

Not a problem, mum always leaves the back door unlocked in the summer. Whilst the young maiden stood/swayed in the cool summer breeze, our hero clambers manfully onto the side gate. Thoughts of the disgusting acts he planned on later swimming around in his head. He brashly turns to wink as his lady friend, before diving feet first from the top of the gate......

.... straight into an open wheeley bin.

The bin promptly fell onto its side, with the open end against the wall. Our hero has now totally lost his compusure and is shouting muffled profanities at Bexley Council Waste Refuse Department. Hearing the commotion, a neighbour opens his window just at the moment to see a suited, drunk tourrettes sufferer clambering out, only to discover the back door was sodding locked.

In the end our hero consigned himself to ringing the doorbell and introducing his "friend" from work to his mother, whilst removing potato-peelings from his suit.
(skintagain, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:42, 8 replies)

hahaha
good story, superbly told!
(jonny_power boom chika wah wow, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 15:04, closed)

Eeeeeesh
Unlucky mate. Funny mind
(Gertcha_cowson NAH MATE, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 15:08, closed)

I can still remember the frosty looks I got from my mum...
When I'd taken a female acquaintance home one Saturday night and spent the night rogering her bandy, then as we left in the morning, introducing them :)

The best thing is, the woman in question is now a plastic copper and pops round to see my mum regularly...mum doesn't remember her :)
( snee held his breath since, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 15:31, closed)

Er ...
Why? Is she a prozzie?
(Que?, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 2:04, closed)

yes
I was about 15 staying at an Aunts house, trying to sneak in drunk. Made it , Ninja like, all the why to the spare room before I inexplicably pulled over a wardrobe packed with children’s toys and board games. Not silent would be a good description.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 9 Jun 2010, 18:34, closed)

i never bothered trying to be quiet
fuck 'em
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 20:27, closed)

:)
RIGHT UP THEIR FUCKING ARSES
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 9 Jun 2010, 20:33, closed)

Did you at least get to smash her pasty?

(god_is_a_ghoti Carpe Deum., Wed 9 Jun 2010, 22:05, closed)