My fucking childhood
Anyone who has watched the whole 'Rola Cola' sketch that Peter Kay got famous for will know my plight. My Mum has been disabled for as long as I can remember and during my childhood, the money my Dad recieved for looking after her was a pittance - thus getting to the cheapo meals etc.
By far the worst experience was the clothes though. A big bearded man (who until recently I thought was called 'Mr. Bernardos') that looked like Tregard from Knightmare would come round every year with a black sack full of shit and me and my bro had to dive through and see what fitted best and had the least stains in. I remember finding some white Bart Simpson swimming trunks that had the phrase "don't have a cow, man!" written on them and I cherished those little bastards and couldn't wait until school let me use them.
The swimming trip came along and upon jumping into the water I noticed my shorts basically didn't exist anymore (as now you could see my cock and balls floating around in the shallow end) so I had to walk the gauntlet of shame in my see-through trunks whislt trying to hide my man bumps.
On the subject of school - I never had a uniform for the first 11 years of my life as my family couldn't afford one. I wouldn't mind, but my clothes were shit and everyone looked at me anyway because my parents could only afford 1 hair cut a year (my dad eventually bought a trimmer). I was lent a jumper from my bud to have my school pics taken and when I finally did get an 'upper school' uniform, I left my blazer on the floor when I was conker picking and a cow ate it and my cheapo replacement one that a local charity bought for me (which had Sharon written inside it... I'm a man Goddamnit) got shat on by a bird within a month of me having it (strange purple colour) and the stain wouldn't come out.
This gives you a slight insight into my shitty, cheap childhood and the only reason why we can afford the basics now is that my mum's condition has gotten worse and they allow my dad full-time pay (even though he's 66)
Happy fucking new year
(Merrick I cure cats with hammers, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 17:35, 2 replies)

hahah
I've clicked you for having your blazer eaten by a cow while you were conker picking.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 14:20, closed)

Why thank you
I hope the cow was swiftly made into burgers
(Merrick I cure cats with hammers, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 17:30, closed)