My Christmas NightmareThe bringing together of one's family and friends over the holiday period is never quite as fun as it is supposed to be: this year, my mum and dad will be in the same room for the first time in 28 months. It should prove interesting.
Tell us about the nightmares you've had over christmas.
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chthonic, Thu 23 Dec 2004, 13:46)
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Where to begin?hmm. there's a few:
1971 - Did I ask for skis? Nope. Had I ever been on skis? No. Parents proceed to put me on skis, and push me down a hill. Cut to a parental shit fit when I don't qualify for the olympics on the first go. Then by all means, force me to stay outside and SKI, goddamit.
1975 - I own a humble but growing record collection. I don't own a record player. See that record player under the tree? Guess who its for? Not me.
1978 - Christmas Eve: The most exciting part of the evening occurs when one of my father's friends invites me outside for a fistfight. Him being too drunk to stand up for more than 11 seconds at a time.
1979 - I find a wrench on the side of the road, which I wrap, then put a bow on it. Merry Christmas Dad!
1980 through 1983 - A serious white powder habit wraps the holidays in a beautiful shiny haze.
1984 - Christmas Eve: No snow but plenty o booze. I pull a drunk friend from beneath a parked car, then we drive it across the garden into a tree. We live, car dies.
Christmas. Is it absolutely necessary?
(, Thu 23 Dec 2004, 15:45, Reply)
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