Naughty children
When my kids were younger (one boy one girl) they fought like cats and dogs. I told them "if you don't stop being horrible to each other Santa is going to leave you coal in your stocking" the miserable little shits laughed! Right!... so I happened to have a small bag of coal in a crawlspace under the dining room so I went and got about 6 nice pieces. Dirty as hell as you can imagine so I washed them in the sink with dish soap after the kids had gone to bed and dried them nicely and put 3 pieces in each stocking with a note to the effect of if their behaviour hadn't improved by next Christmas this is all they would get.

Chrimbo morning rolls around and the kids are up on the hunt.. they get their stockings down and empty them out and find the note and the coal pieces along with some odds and sods. Now you'd think after a note from Santa and some coal samples they'd calm down a bit.. no not my kids.. one of them said "My piece looks like a gun!" and ran around shooting with it, the other kid wanted that... they were fighting over bits of coal!!!

We put the coal pieces on the mantle and they sit there to this day as a reminder of the fact that not even a gift of coal can calm down naughty children.

The eldest is off to college next year.
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Wed 25 Dec 2013, 0:44, 2 replies)

So your story is "I'm a shit parent"?
Merry fucking christmas.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 25 Dec 2013, 11:07, closed)

Let me get this straight...
you washed coal?
(Bob the Builder killed Captain Alex, Wed 25 Dec 2013, 17:18, closed)