At the pub where I work, we don't take bookings,
yet we get numerous phone calls asking to book.
Here's one memorable one:

customer: I'd like to book a table please
me: i'm sorry, we don't take bookings
customer: but it's for tomorrow night
me: well I'm afraid we can't take bookings
customer: well, can't you put a reserve on a table for us?
me: no, sorry, we might be busy, someone else might need to sit there
customer: but there's eleven of us
me: well, if you ring up about half an hour before you intend to come, we'll see what we can do
customer: so you're letting us book?
me: no, i'm letting you ring back tomorrow to see if ther is enough space. What time are you coming?
customer: nine 0'clock
me: ok, but we stop serving food at half past
customer: do you need my name?
me: no thanks
customer: it's Smith
me: right
customer: so we're booked in for nine o'clock then?
me: no, like I said, we don't take bookings
customer: so why did you ask what time we were coming in then?
me: curiosity, I'm cooking it
customer: well, as you're the chef, what would you recommend?
me: another pub. bye
customer: you can't talk to me like that, i'm a shareholder
me: so am I. Bye
*hang up*


needless to say, they never rang back
( SarahRatt, Tue 30 Dec 2003, 0:01, Reply)