Plumbers...
In recent months I haven’t had any stories that fit with the qotw and I was going to post this in off topic last week but think it may just fit for this weeks question…huzzah.

A few years ago a mate of mine dropped out of his nine-to-five drudgery sacked off the North East and set about reinforcing Northern stereotypes in London in his new life as a plumber. Not an easy decision for him to make – but he’s to be commended for having the balls to start afresh.

Al – for that be his name – was called out to a flat in St John’s Wood – home to some of the most expensive properties in the world, apparently it’s a rather splendid place. The flat in question had a concierge service and when Al asked for lady of the flat the concierge quipped “best of luck mate”. Al thinks this is odd but he and his boss get their tools and head upstairs.

They are greeted at the door by an immaculately turned out lady, early 50s and clearly worth a few quid –she’s pleasant enough and shows the two lads to the kitchen where the problem seems to reside and they get to work. Please note: this isn’t supposed to sound like the start to a piss poor porno. Starting in the cupboards under the kitchen sink Al’s boss is trying to reach through toward the room next door where his Al is. At this point they can actually see each other – peering through a wall cavity – both are lying on their fronts trying to fix whatever the problem is.

Suddenly Al’s boss starts pulling faces and mouthing what are clearly expletives – the sort that just aren’t heard round these parts on a regular basis. Al is confused and asks his boss what’s going on but gets no response just more mouthing and a bit of shuffling and writhing. Thinking he’s either stuck or just taking the piss Al goes back to the kitchen to see what the fuck is going on. In the kitchen he’s greeted by an odd sight – the lady of the house is standing on his boss’ back doing the dishes. When asked “what the fuck are you doing?” she calmly responds “nearly finished” and with that hops off the plumber as if absolutely nothing unusual has happened. Both lads are simply stunned that someone could be so rude or just so far up themselves as to be physically above other people. Extraordinarily, they decide its probably better to just finish the job so they don’t have to come back – although Al is nearly sick with laughter for the rest of the day.

So that’s it really. Plumbers - so common you can stand on them to make them work.
(i anglepoise, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:23, 3 replies)

a click
for the mental image alone.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:55, closed)

I have a vague recollection
of you telling this tale in the Sun. Or it may have been Legless. Either way, *click*.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 12:12, closed)

...hmmm
was told this last weekend - didn't think it was an urban myth - if it is i shall kick Al in the balls next time i see him.
(i anglepoise, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 12:31, closed)