Socks. Washing machines.
Need I elaborate?
( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:26, 21 replies)

Yes please.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:29, closed)

Please do, this sounds fascinating.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:30, closed)

oh go on then

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:31, closed)

Two socks in. One sock out.

( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:46, closed)

That's Thunderdome, you dicktug.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:13, closed)

Is this the one where you rest your ballsack on the corner of the washing machine and use the vibration to bring yourself to orgasm, then shoot your load into a sock?
Not much of a conspiracy there, we all do it. Right, guys?

Guys?
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:33, closed)

Sock goblins, friends. They eat 'em.
And they're connoisseurs, which makes it worse. They only like the newest socks and, forever in quest of new taste sensations, they will only ever devour a single member of a pair, before moving on to pastures new.
Personally I blame the juze/feminazis/islamists/forriners/world bankers.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:34, closed)

Like most conspiracy theories this is a load of arse
I suggest you perform regular sock audits; you'll be surprised by just how many complete pairs and how few singletons there are.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:47, closed)

Goblin-sympathizer!
Confess!
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:48, closed)

or
accept pairing socks is a waste of time and just grab 2 similar socks every morning.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:54, closed)

Or simply buy ten or so identical pairs in bulk.
It only gets irritating when you have special socks that get lost, like hiking socks or gym socks.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:58, closed)

The way to avoid this conundrum is simply only buy socks of one colour.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 11:58, closed)

No there are easier ways than this
You can buy socks that come in multipacks, where each pair is a bit different. For example, a 7 pack of black socks, all with different coloured trim.

You wear the socks, and when you take a pair off, pair them up before you put them in the laundry basket. When you put them in the machine, just unpair them. When they come out of the machine, THERE WILL BE 2 SOCKS. THIS ISN'T FUCKING DIFFICULT YOU MONGS.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:09, closed)

Or just make the wife do it

( Peej, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:23, closed)

I got rid of her because she was too thick to wash my socks in pairs.
The cow.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:42, closed)

No - you're overcomplicating it in an effort to make your socks appear more important than they are.
Simply buy all black socks, of the same type, the end.

Then, bang them in the wash, dry them, and pick two (2) - hey presto! A matching pair of socks!

6. Profit!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:28, closed)

Are you saying there's something more important than socks?
You crazy fool.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:45, closed)

I find myself in strong agreement with the shouty upper case bit.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:30, closed)

or just don't wear socks
it's never done me any harm
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 4 Dec 2011, 20:19, closed)

Noooo! Washing machines are portals to a parallel universe
Individual socks go through a space-time wormhole to to the planet Hosier where one-legged mono-pod Hosiens wear them.
( notoolsovernight you're all luvvly an' 'orrible, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 12:19, closed)

this was explained in the "Hitchhiker's Guide"......
they are the larval form of the coat hanger.

just above the bit about ratchet screwdriver fruit.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:25, closed)