Freudian Slip
My husband and I had been invited to attend a wedding of a then-friend - it was to be a wiccan ceremony which i thought was pretty cool as i've never been to one and was quite curious as to what goes on. Then the actual invite came and it read the guests were to attend in medieval dress - i'm not too keen on fancy dress at the best of times, but since it was a wedding i was certainly not going to be a wet blanket. So hubby got it together as a knight, myself as a generic princess-type with the big upturned cone on my head (all very stylish, visited the costume shop etc).

Come the day of the wedding, i'm standing in the front yard talking to other mates whiles waiting for the bride and bridesmaids to arrive (yes, the wedding was held in their backyard, but in an attempt to fancy it up the bride had insisted on a horse and carriage to drive around the block in before turning up at her own front door again).

The guests are still arriving, and one of them appears in a vision of lace and mantilla. Now, this girl is *quite* huge so i can only imagine it was quite an effort for her to find something appropriate to wear for the day and, to be fair, she sort of pulled it off as an old-timey spanish senorita. As my eyes fell on her i commented to the bloke i was chatting to 'Doesn't she look lovely?' Then promptly, in full hearing of everybody there, i greeted her with 'Marie, you look absolutely awful!' Meant to say awesome not awful dammit!

Silence. Shocked silence as a matter of fact as everyone is wondering how i can be so horrid to this poor girl... Thankfully the guy i made my 'Doesn't she look lovely' remark to mere seconds ago was able to back me up that i must have had a slip of the tongue, but the damage was done. No matter how much i apologised and tried to explain my word salad, my protestations seemed unconvincing even to my own ears.
( Tiffany Aching 's bowl of oatmeal tried to stare her down and won, Fri 13 May 2011, 1:46, 3 replies)

You could have said
'Wait, I didn't mean the dress, that's lovely. I meant your arse'.
(username failed moderation, Fri 13 May 2011, 8:30, closed)

Maybe that's what she needed
to become weightwatchers slimmer of the month 4 times in a row.
( brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter, Fri 13 May 2011, 15:08, closed)

"You look awful!"
"Awful... LOVELY, I MEAN! HAHA, GOTCHA!"

Then make an awful joke about her being 'bewitching' just to ram home that you clearly have an appallingly poor taste in jokes. People will just assume the first remark was a bad joke and you're a bit of an arse, rather than you being the appalling person you actually are for having said that.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:11, closed)