Fawlty Towers
I used to work away from home, and the company would put me up in hotels wherever I was working. Unfortunately, being big cheapskates they wouldn't book anything over 3 stars, nor anything over a certain amount a night, which generally ruled out anything even approaching decent. Over that time I stayed in many places where the wallpaper was peeling, the bed was made of bricks and half the taps in the bathroom didn't work.

The worst place, however, was a nasty little hotel in Luton. It was right next to the main railway line, and every time a train went past the entire building shook. The rooms stank of stale cigarette smoke, despite being ostensibly no smoking. There was no lift, so I had to lug my cases up four flights of stairs, and the food was pretentious but awful.

I haven't got to the worst part yet - when I came to check out at the end of the week, I came down to reception at about 7:30am - not an unreasonable time. The place looked like the opening scenes of 28 Days Later - reception was deserted, there were hoovers left in the middle of the floor as if the cleaners had been abducted by aliens, and no signs of life. A sign on the desk said "For assistance, dial [number]" with a phone next to it. So I did. Another phone, immediately next to mine, immediately began ringing. I decided to leave my key on the desk and make my exit. Which proved to be difficult as the front door was locked and bolted. As was the side door.

In fact, pretty much all the doors were locked shut. I eventually stumbled across their function room, dodging Henry Hoovers and stray chairlegs, and pushed my way behind a curtain to make my exit from the only fire exit that didn't have a great big bar across it.

I hear the place later got fined for breaking fire regulations.
(moogal has eggs, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 13:49, Reply)