free curry
Back in the heady days of unemployment, my brother and I took a road trip to the Republic of Ireland on his faithfull GPZ500 Bike. Off we set, with a full set of camping gear on my back, with me on pillion to the depths of Ireland one shiny summer. Many a tea stop later, we arrive in Wexford, a charming place, and secure a camp site beside the sea and pitch our tent. All is well with the world. Bike engine quietly making 'pinging' sounds in the sun, tent pitched and we're preparing for a night out in a nice town. We find a club in Wexford (well, THE club) and secure entry, in exchange for several punts. (pre euro days) Inside, we find we can exchange our entry stubs for a free curry, provided by the club. wow, says us, great idea. The curry was rubbish. textureless and flavourless, it had no redeaming features whatsoever, over spiced, over cooked over priced at 'free'. I couldn't face mine after 1 mouthfull. Big brother on the other hand wolfs his, and mine, down in around 4 minutes flat. We continue our night out. ... several hours later, back in the tent, i am awoken by the sound and sight of my sibling franticly digging his way out of the tent in order to vomit. He can't get the zipper up. It's very much stuck. In the end, after 20 seconds of very frantic fighting, he gives up and with the strengh that only the truly desperate can muster, rips the lining of the tent, 'twixt front flaps and ground sheet and sticks his unshaven face out the resulting gap to hurl the 2 portions of curry onto Irelands fine green green grass.I giggle. We go back to sleep. Come the morning, we have to half crawl/half leap over the mound of vomit outside the entrance of our tent. on closer inspection, and to our wonderment, the puke has settled, upon ejection,into the form it was injested. That is to say, rice on the bottom, meat on the top. Nothing else sullying the fine disply, no carrots, nothing. It was almost a perfectly formed portion of curry, if slightly wafting of bile. After admiring this gastric wonderment, we realise we can't get back into our tent without disturbing this entity. Clean it up? Be buggered, we unpeg the dome tent and drag it 6 feet to the left and cover the extrusion with a placcy bag, secured with tent pegs.
(menashem, Tue 2 May 2006, 0:25, Reply)