Dysfunctionate
I have 7 uncles and 2 aunts, 6 grandparents and my two parents (with respective new romantic interests, adding up to 4).

My Mum and Dad are fairly normal people in general, although my Mum likes to reply to my text when she's drunk (and ONLY when she's drunk) - with "I bow to your superior knowledge, and the gin I have consumed" - whenever she's wrong. My Dad on the other hand just did a very good job of parenting so not much - but his talks were funny. To date my favourite is "mating".

It goes something like this:
Ok son... A cherry meets a nice cake one day, right? So the cherry gets inside the cake... and sprays his whipped cream all over the place... and then 9 months later (if she doesn't get a finger stuck inside her and have the new creamy inside removed) a little cherry cake pops out.
(I replied to this, "What have cherry cakes got to do with children?". He said:)
"I love cherry cake... so... nothing, I suppose.." and conversation went silent for an hour.

My Uncle Kieran, he's a bit odd, he only visits when he wants something though... and one day, he came round after my Father's motorcycling accident (broken collarbone, about 5 years ago), says "Heey bruv, how you doin' these days?!" and slaps him on the shoulder. My Dad doesn't swear much so to hear him explode was just.. comical.. xD

Uhm, my dear Nan on my mums side of the family, she finds the most pointless excuses to phone up and talk to us... and try to get me to visit so she can fatten me up (this must be her objective! I get offered food from every direction when I see her). I don't really mind though - my Nan is ace :D

My Grandad seems to think he served in the war despite being about 5 at the time. He reminisces about things that never happened and tells me all about it. I don't think he ever actually had a fist fight with Hitler :D
(Tyraen, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 20:46, Reply)