Cringe!
Chickenlady winces, "I told a Hugh Grant/Divine Brown joke to my dad, pretending that Ms Brown was chewing gum so she'd be more American. Instead I just appeared to be still giving the blow-job. Even as I'm writing this I'm cringing inside."
Tell us your cringeworthy stories of embarrassment. Go on, you're amongst friends here...
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 18:58)
Chickenlady winces, "I told a Hugh Grant/Divine Brown joke to my dad, pretending that Ms Brown was chewing gum so she'd be more American. Instead I just appeared to be still giving the blow-job. Even as I'm writing this I'm cringing inside."
Tell us your cringeworthy stories of embarrassment. Go on, you're amongst friends here...
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 18:58)
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She was lovley, i was mistaken
So I used to work in the heart of London, I used to catch the train into Waterloo, then the train from Waterloo East to Charing Cross.
That final bit of the journey was always standing room only on the train, everyone squashed in together trying to be very British and not actually making eye contact or breathing on one another.
Over the course of a few weeks every so often I would see a very lovely girl on the train, she would be standing too, sometimes we'd be quite close; and we would make eye contact.
Now I am a shy person, or certainly I was a lot more shy back then, and it literally took me about a week to get to the point of smiling at her, and when I did she smiled back. A big warm 'I think you're nice' smile. and then she was gone. I didn’t see her the next day, or the day after that, or the week after that.
I started religiously getting the same train, the same carriage, the same door in the hopes of crossing paths with her. Swearing at myself for not simply saying hello to her at any of those missed opportunities. If I saw her again, I would say hello, I would rip stars from the sky for her, but I would start with "hello".
4 weeks went by.
One day when I was least expecting it, I saw her and as the doors closed I found myself (along with 150 others) squashed up against her, facing her, making eye contact with her.
"Hello" I said, trying to stop the warble of nerves entering my voice.
"Hello" she replied with a warm smile
I was emboldened, floating on air, feeling like I was on top of the world "How are you?"
"Erm...I'm fine" a sort of nervous smile this time. By this time some of the other passengers had started taking an interest. Were they squashed next to some predatory nutter?
The cold realisation dawn on me, 4 weeks is a long time. And while I’d never had believed it was possible to forget her face, I surly had.
Needing to know, I asked "You don't know me do you?"
"No" she replied
"Ah, I’m sorry I must have confused you with someone else"
Now at best this shows a total lack of attention to anyone other than yourself and at worst appears to be a very old, overused and obvious pick up line.
Normally at this point a certain amount of embarrassment is released and the offender, me, shuffles off and tries to find a nice hole to crawl into.
But I couldn’t, this was a packed carriage, I was left helpless, locked against this very nice lady who didn't know me. My embarrassment factor went up, I started to blush.
Finally the man nearest me, couldn’t' help himself and released a small giggle. So did the girl, then another man, and another...
As the doors opened at Charing Cross an entire carriage of people with tears streaming down their faces, aching sides and sore cheeks exited leaving a beetroot coloured boy mortified in an empty train.
For the next two years I walked from waterloo to charring cross.
i apologise for noffink
( , Sat 29 Nov 2008, 4:15, 2 replies)
So I used to work in the heart of London, I used to catch the train into Waterloo, then the train from Waterloo East to Charing Cross.
That final bit of the journey was always standing room only on the train, everyone squashed in together trying to be very British and not actually making eye contact or breathing on one another.
Over the course of a few weeks every so often I would see a very lovely girl on the train, she would be standing too, sometimes we'd be quite close; and we would make eye contact.
Now I am a shy person, or certainly I was a lot more shy back then, and it literally took me about a week to get to the point of smiling at her, and when I did she smiled back. A big warm 'I think you're nice' smile. and then she was gone. I didn’t see her the next day, or the day after that, or the week after that.
I started religiously getting the same train, the same carriage, the same door in the hopes of crossing paths with her. Swearing at myself for not simply saying hello to her at any of those missed opportunities. If I saw her again, I would say hello, I would rip stars from the sky for her, but I would start with "hello".
4 weeks went by.
One day when I was least expecting it, I saw her and as the doors closed I found myself (along with 150 others) squashed up against her, facing her, making eye contact with her.
"Hello" I said, trying to stop the warble of nerves entering my voice.
"Hello" she replied with a warm smile
I was emboldened, floating on air, feeling like I was on top of the world "How are you?"
"Erm...I'm fine" a sort of nervous smile this time. By this time some of the other passengers had started taking an interest. Were they squashed next to some predatory nutter?
The cold realisation dawn on me, 4 weeks is a long time. And while I’d never had believed it was possible to forget her face, I surly had.
Needing to know, I asked "You don't know me do you?"
"No" she replied
"Ah, I’m sorry I must have confused you with someone else"
Now at best this shows a total lack of attention to anyone other than yourself and at worst appears to be a very old, overused and obvious pick up line.
Normally at this point a certain amount of embarrassment is released and the offender, me, shuffles off and tries to find a nice hole to crawl into.
But I couldn’t, this was a packed carriage, I was left helpless, locked against this very nice lady who didn't know me. My embarrassment factor went up, I started to blush.
Finally the man nearest me, couldn’t' help himself and released a small giggle. So did the girl, then another man, and another...
As the doors opened at Charing Cross an entire carriage of people with tears streaming down their faces, aching sides and sore cheeks exited leaving a beetroot coloured boy mortified in an empty train.
For the next two years I walked from waterloo to charring cross.
i apologise for noffink
( , Sat 29 Nov 2008, 4:15, 2 replies)
When I commuted
I did it from Canterbury to Waterloo East, then walked over the little footbridge into Waterloo main station to the office, but I used to hate having to literally fight my way through everyone who got on at London Bridge.
Mr Maladicta is now a train host on the same route and he doesn't like the suits much!
( , Sat 29 Nov 2008, 12:57, closed)
I did it from Canterbury to Waterloo East, then walked over the little footbridge into Waterloo main station to the office, but I used to hate having to literally fight my way through everyone who got on at London Bridge.
Mr Maladicta is now a train host on the same route and he doesn't like the suits much!
( , Sat 29 Nov 2008, 12:57, closed)
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