I started this as a reply but its turned into its own story
How not to introduce yourself to people 101

… So much cringe worthy stuff here.

It was the third day of being in Uni halls and I went down to the common room (It’s a big place with one giant common room for about 100 of us) to try and meet some more people as you do when first starting. While there, I run into a couple of people I already know from the previous few days drinking, I sit down and start talking.

They mention having a couple of drinks and playing cards to get some strangers involved. I agree, run up and get a new bottle of vodka. We play a few games, meet a couple of new people and have a couple of drinks... When they say that they're off to bed as they have something to do in the morning, therefore can’t get drunk.

“Pah” thinks I, its still early days and I’m just starting to feel tipsy, so continue to drink my vodka with relative strangers.

** Wavy lines into the distance**

My next memory is waking up on the floor of a toilet with someone bagging on the door yelling at me "Wake up your drunk bastard" then saying "Who the hell are you?" when I emerge – I was on the wrong floor entirely.

Next memory is as dawn breaks and I blearily open my eyes to find myself face down in the corridor of a different, but still wrong, floor from where my room is, as a relatively good looking girl is stepping over my mangled corpse and tutting. Still apocalyptically drunk and, from my point of view, operating from a state of pure charm, I look up at her from the floor and cheerily come out with the eternally smooth “Hi, I’m /Spleen/, I’ve not seen you around yet, who are you?” not at all as if I had just woken from some form of alcoholic coma, probobly looking like a psycopath and smelling of piss.

“We were talking for around 2 hours last night” she replied shortly and walked off. At which point I staggered to my feet and then immediately lost my balance, falling headfirst into someone’s bedroom door at 7am causing them to open it and ask what the hell I was playing at… “Sorry, I fell” I apologise making myself look like even more of a spacktard.

I find my room; sleep off the drunkness and hangover and somehow find the nerve to emerge again that evening. I’m walking down the corridor to the common room and people I have never met before are openly laughing at me. I try to carry on as normal and later on in the evening introduce myself to someone new and the first thing she says to me is “Oh yeah, I saw you last night… you’re the one who was walking around looking for your bottles of vodka and asking everyone if they had seen them when they were sticking out of your pockets weren’t you”

Cock-Badgers!

Turns out nearly everone in the building knew of me by now, but I did not know any of them…

Worst of all, it was a Tuesday night as well…..
(The_Mighty_Spleen, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 3:05, Reply)