ahh the memories...
on work experience a girl came into the fishing tackle shop i was placed in (the girl was also on work experience from my school/year) and asked for a "glass hammer" i prompty replied "oh you need the high street branch, all the hardware is in there" another 10 minute walk away - oh im so cruel but how i did laugh :)
recently
Hello i've being sent in for a long weight (wait) "oh we'll have those in about twenty minutes" as said gullible twit is walking out the shop ready to come back in 20 minutes... i point out that a long wait is actually 20 minutes and that he'd been had...
20 minutes later he walks back in "hi, yeah im here for that long wait" again explaing that 20 minutes in infact a long wait he twigs this time, not to be outdone he asks for something to take back just to prove a point i guess... handing him the nearest thing i could find (a meat hook) I told him to say that we where out of long weights and only had sky hooks (another common thing i'm often asked for) 5 minutes later a rather dizzy girl walks in "hello "boy" was sent in for a long weight but he came back with this *shows meat hook* i've being sent over to see if you have a left handed one" *turns meat hook around* "there you go" the words "oh i'm gonna kill him" where shouted as she stormed out the shop :D

And can i have 2 meters of fallopian tube please?

Ok not customers from hell - but hey
Story from a fellow work college who used to work in a clothes store - in walks small hunch backed woman who absolutely stinks of piss "excuse me miss, have you got any black underwear, i don't have to change them as often as the white" *sicks up abit* - SHE STINKS

And i've yet to meet a customer that is right!
( SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 20:31, 4 replies)

I like these ones
"How much are hookers?" was one that got used on the younger kids on Scout camp.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 22:26, closed)

don't forget the classic "bucket of electricity" and "tin of elbow grease"
( SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 23:33, closed)

I've come for a long stand
No bother, just stay there for a minute.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 13:46, closed)

Apropos of nothing,
Are you attempting to achieve some sort of record for "longest profile" ? That's a lot of stuff in there.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 22:47, closed)