You may gather from my name that
I work in a pub.

This happens at least once a week:

Customer orders a pint of their piss-water of choice, I start pouring but the barrel runs out.

Me: Sorry sir, I just need to go and change the barrel

*changes barrel and finishes pouring said pint*

Customer: I don't want that one, it's the end of the barrel

now, this makes no difference when dealing with lagers or nitro-keg stuff, as a: because of the way lager/cider/etc barrels work, the last pint out is actually from the TOP, and b: there's no sediment in this type of barrel. Different story if they were actually drinking a *proper* beer

Me: But sir, the line holds 2 pints. I can pour you another one, but it'll be from even closer to the bottom of the barrel.

Customer: I'd like a fresh one, please.


Also, customers who order a 15-drink round one drink at a time, carrying each back to their mouthbreathing mates before ordering the next one, and THEN order a Guinness

AAAGH!
(SarcasticBarSteward wants to be good at Photoshop when he grows up, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 2:25, 13 replies)

snap!
and SNAP!
poured a pint of guiness the other day, first one out of the barrel so obviously had a bit more head than normal
"nah don't want that one love looks dodgy."
argh. its exactly the saaaame!!!
i work in cheltenham, and during race week we get the drunkest idiots ever ordering massive rounds of drinks one at a time!!
(rosie-pie, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 3:01, closed)

On the plus side, though,
Living in pubs: yay!

Who cares that I saved up every drink bought for me in the last 2 weeks and had them all after work?

It's only a 30ft journey from the bar to my bed!
(SarcasticBarSteward wants to be good at Photoshop when he grows up, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 3:20, closed)

yes, but...
surely, the stuff from the new keg would be fresher. granted, kegged piss-lager doesn't get manky as quickly as cask ale, but it does still go off, mate.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 5:25, closed)

well,
We easily get through a barrel a day, so it really hasn't had time to get manky in the slightest.

Even so, you seem to have missed the point that, by demanding a new pint, they've actually gotten themselves one that's even closer to the end of the barrel.
(SarcasticBarSteward wants to be good at Photoshop when he grows up, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 8:52, closed)

I nearly liked this
should have included kittens.
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 9:08, closed)

People who order Guinness last
deserve the shitest pint of Guinness that it's possible to pour.

That said, bar tenders who think it's acceptable to pour a pint of Guinness by standing the glass on the drip tray, opening the tap and then fucking off to talk to their mates while my pint is ruined, deserve to be drowned in a vat of WKD and Bacardi Breezers.
( Moey, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 9:21, closed)

These people
have obviously seen one of their mates take back a pint of real beer that was on the turn, or decline the cloudy pint from the end of the cask, and decided that in order to look like a big, grown-up beer drinker they need to do the same, which just makes their ignorance all the more amusing.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 9:52, closed)

Pedant alert
When changing from one barrel to the next, if you have old cellar equipment or do not turn the gas off at the cellar bouy, the first pint from the next barrel can have an overabundance of CO2/N2. This can make the pint have a head like you'd just held the hit tap down for 5 minutes and make the pint taste sour. I wouldn't want that pint, but the customer should really say that they don't want the first one out of the barrel.
Oh, and Rosie-Pie, first pint out of the lines can be warm and horrible as it's been without cooler when sat in the lines even a water cooled font or t-bar is not good enough to solve this problem as there are still stretches of the python uncooled.

Sorry

*gets coat*
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 10:19, closed)

I bloody hate hit taps
If you can't pour a proper pint without using a hit tap then you shouldn't be in the job!
(Ssco, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 15:49, closed)

Hmmm...
Do you work around Oxford Street/ Tottenham Court Road area? I used to work in a horrible pub near there... my manager had been emotionally scarred in the Gulf War (I think it was the Gulf War...) after shooting a child in the face and had a huge alchoholism problem. He made me and fellow staff underpoor beer with two inch heads to anyone who "looked foreign and wouldn't notice" and we would all drink the resulting overstock at the end of the shift.

I was also once tipped a £1000 dollar check from a drunk American lady who came in everyday for two weeks blithering on about her Christianity and head hunting job (it bounced, whodathunkit!) who later tried to grope my breasts in her hotel room, but thats another story....

Everytime I try to find the Intrepid Fox I have been told it's closed down, am I part of some massive conspiracy?
(Turn that bloody gramaphone down has incorrect spelling in her username *WINS*, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 15:55, closed)

I drink Bitter
So I always order mine first. E.g. "A pint of IPA and three Stellas, please." More than half the time the muppet serving starts with the Stellas. There's no teaching some people.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 11:39, closed)

^^^
Yep. I know that one. If I'm getting a round in and there's a Guinness in there, I'll make a point of starting with that. i.e. "Two pints of Guinness, two G&Ts and 4 Stellas"

I'll get two G&Ts, then "What else was it you wanted?"

I'm trying to help.

EDIT: I did once have a pint of Fosters that stunk of eggs, and was cloudy as fuck. You could not see through it. I took one sip, and was overwhelmed with egg smell. I complained, politely, and was asked to drink it up and leave the pub.

As if I was going to drink that.

Drove past that very same pub about 2 hours ago (Saturday, 8.30pm) - light are off. Not a soul in there. And it's summer.
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 22:28, closed)

is there a rule of thumb about ordering?
... as regards number of drinks to order in one go? If I have say 6 to buy, I'll order them in two lots of three, any Guinness first followed by ales, then lagers, with wines or shorts at the end.

I'm always asked if I want anything else when the drinks have been done, so if I ask for Guinness, ale, lager.... they're done and on the bar, anything else, wine, G&T and a scotch, I don't forget what I've asked for and they don't have a chance to get it wrong, costing them money. Also gives me a chance to nip the 3 I have to the table without major spillage, come back, pay up and take the next 3, without trying to carry 6 different sized and shaped glasses, or even worse leave 3 and they get nicked.

Just trying to help, and I always say hello/please/thank you because manners costs nowt and if you reciprocate you might get a drink yourself. A happy pub is a full pub and they're a rarity at the moment!
(randomstupidname would really like this signature field to be bigge, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 11:22, closed)