Oh, where to begin...
Five years in Ottakar's/ Waterstones gives you a fair insight into the overwhelming fuckwittery of the general public. Especially around Christmas time, when cretinous, monosyllabic in-bred mutants who would never EVER venture into a book shop were it not for the fact that one of their family members has managed to learn to read and has requested whatever the in-vogue True Crime book is that obviously makes you hard by association from reading it. Nuggets of literary ignorance have included:

1. It's my girlfriend's birthday coming up. I'd like to order a first edition of 'To Kill A Mockingbird', please.

2. When is the new Harry Potter out, despite it being national news, us having dedicated an entire corner of the shop to it, and having a sign the size of my flat behind the till.

3."I'd like to return this book, please. It was an unwanted Christmas present." More convincing when it doesn't have 'Merry Christmas, 1995' written in the front of it. In 2006.

4. "I'd like to order a £200 textbook, but I refuse to pay for it upfront. You might stitch me up."

5. "I'd like to buy a dictionary for my daughter. She's not a retard." Congratulations.
(Nimrod's Son Boredom provokes some interesting habits..., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 12:51, 2 replies)

A click for
Point 5.
And another click (although it does nothing) for your username.
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 12:53, closed)

She's not a retard
Brilliant!
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 13:11, closed)