Gunpowder, treason and plot
When my little sister and I were little, my biological dad (we'll call him Gay Dad from now on, because he was), who was divorced from my mum (because of the gayness), used to play some really good fun games with us when we used to visit him of a Saturday...

Little sister was a bit of a pyro (at 6), so he used to mix this stuff up together from a chemsitry set, then we'd set fire to it, and it'd bubble and fizz.

I still remember the ingredients and the care in which he used to mix them. We were to grind some caster sugar right down into fine powder, then add a spoonful of potassium nitrate to it, and here we were given strict instructions to stir it in VERY CAREFULLY, because we weren't to make any sparks. Then later we were allowed to light it (with a taper) and watch the yellow bubbles burn and fizzle up.

It was only a few years ago that I realised we were messing around with one of the key components of gunpowder. Aged 6 and 8.


Oh, and there was also the time that he took us picking "magic mushrooms" for "daddy's friends". Only we weren't supposed to eat them. Once again, I remember the care he took to instill in us the dangers of picking the wrong shrooms, including giving us a little pocket book of wild mushrooms, and pointing out the similarities and differences to death caps. I was 9, my sister 7. We were told not to eat them, and I kinda understood they were drugs for grown ups. We picked HUNDREDS. And that was the end of the story... Or so I thought.

Turns out that little sister hadn't really got the "drugs for grown ups" thing; she thought they were mushrooms that would instill magic powers in the eater, and had munched her way through a few in the hope she might become magical. She only confessed this to me a few years ago. Said nothing happened and she was quite disappointed at the time.


The same man gave me his tips on drugs once (I was 18 and had not even smoked a cigarette)...

Gay Dad - "I keep the stash over there..." (cue pointing at stash and pipe)
GD - "If you need any advice on drugs, you can ask me because I've done them all"
Me - "Er, oooohkaaay... What do you mean you've done them all?"
GD - "Well, put it this way, I found cocaine to be more addictive than heroin"
Me - "........"
GD - "And when you take LSD..." (note the use of WHEN and not IF) "make sure you are with good friends because..." and then he went off on some story tale of when he was high one time...


AND he had the nerve to have a go at my mum for taking us little 'uns pony riding, because it was dangerous... while he was practically getting us cooking up crystal meths on our Saturday visits! Bless him.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 23:08, Reply)