Hope these are words of comfort
Dear CommieGirl

If you ever have children - who knows, you might have them, so apologies if so - you will find out the wonderful selfless love that having children brings. Any half-decent parent would always, always rather take on pain than see it inflicted on their children - and that applies just as much to grandparents.
Of course I never knew the man, but I am sure that your Grandad would be really upset to think that you were in any emotional pain or distress because of this. I'm sure you have a mental picture of him holding out some penny sweets for you, a shy smile on his face. Picture now him saying to you, with that same smile on his face, that although it hurt, it was over quickly, and of course he doesn't blame you or anyone else, if you'd have been there you couldn't have done anything and he'd really rather you weren't to see his pain and distress. And you're not to be guilty about this anymore.
My gran died in lots of pain from cancer, and I really wish I had been strong enough to have saved her from that pain with an overdose, but of course that's not possible, and I know that because she loved me she wouldn't want me to feel any guilt at all at what happened to her.
Sorry if this has been intrusive, but you shouldn't feel guilt - no-one who loved you would want that.
( I_Was_Mordred, Fri 29 Feb 2008, 10:50, Reply)