Dirty old man.
I had to 'work' in an old folks home when I was about 16, courtesy of the Fuzz. There was many deaths, as you would imagine. The most memorable being a guy called Sid. He was a lovely guy. He was married, but had a dirty secret. He couldn't help but molest the female residents. He would try and kiss them. Touch them up. And generally rub up against them in the hallway.

This was until, alas, I caught him hanging off a bed with his trousers around his ankles, trying to kiss a lady, and miserably attempting to clamber on the bed.

'GET OFF HER SID' I shouted, and barged into the room. He jumped and his little chap wobbled in the affray, poking out of his Y-fronts. And the bugger collapsed on the floor. 'For fucks sake', I thought. 'I've killed him'.

I reached down, and I could see he was breathing. He was fine after all, but the lady somehow lay perfectly still she didn't even jump or stir. She just lay there, dead.
( @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 4 Mar 2008, 20:09, Reply)