This is all I have this week, so eat it!!!! -
My Dad rarely gets drunk in front of the family; however there was a time in the 70’s when he was a bit of a wild child. He was into punk and had a fairly large Mohican at the time, made up of a lot of different colours and rather large.

Anyways he was travelling back from a gig in London on a train and a bit worse for wear. Opposite him sat an oldish type of chap that was just staring at my dad’s hair. After about ten minutes of him wondering why this old chap was staring at him, he decided that he wasn’t going to take it anymore and piped up with

“What are you staring out old man have you never done anything crazy before in your life?”

To which the old man replied, without a pause.

“Got drunk once and had sex with a Cockatiel I was just wondering if you were my son?”
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 16:33, 14 replies)

Old chestnut is old.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 16:40, closed)

Well it was from the 70's
So it's a bit stale...Eat it!!!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 16:44, closed)

Ah right.
Sorry ... I thought you were telling this as an actual anecdote about your father.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 16:44, closed)

Apologies excepted
My dad liked Jazz.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 16:48, closed)

Lies....
...but funny lies.
(SimianKid internet faffer, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 16:46, closed)

Nice one
I thought someone would work it out in the first few seconds :)
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 16:53, closed)

Hahahahaha nice one.
Back in the day I think the best I scored was turning up on my mate's doorstep and his dad asking me "Ri---ight ... so - what have you come as?"
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 17:19, closed)

haha
At least your friends dad was amusing, my dad used to ask one of my school mates if he was holy because he used to always have holes in his school sweater *groan*
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 17:27, closed)

one of my mates was a bit of a goth for a while
(read as: trying to get into a goth girl's pants) and as such wore some stupid clothes.

The best was a t-shirt shaped, black string vest. When another mate's dad saw him he said, with a serious expression "you look like a twat"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 18:53, closed)

haha!
I tend to agree with the dad there.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:07, closed)

I shall be stealing this...
.. for use when my girls get a little older.

Superb.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 13:50, closed)

I thought he was suppose to have sex with a peacock...
...but hey ho, your "story"
(Dante licked your nipple on, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 23:37, closed)

I thought the original was a parrott, same thing I guess.
But he ho my "story" Although my effort wasn't that subtle, you will usually find that a lot of jokes are just re-hashes of jokes from the past.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:06, closed)

I lol'd
First time I'd heard that one.
(McChinaman banned, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 1:45, closed)