Drunk Dad
Only really seem my dad drunk once...(warning this story is funny...but only funny for me...or people that know my dad...you may appreciate it tho)

My parents are the kind of people who like to host parties (dinner and drinks) and they consequently have a HUGE liquor cabinet full of booze. But the weird thing is that they are not huge drinkers. (My wife's parents drink every night, mine only once in a blue moon.)The only time they regularly drink is when they go to church.

Anyhoo, I distinctly remember I was about 14, it was a Friday evening and dad had been out having work drinks. He came home plastered. Mum had to pick him up from the station. "Your father's had some drinks" said mum very evenly. I couldn't read her. Was she upset? Angry? OK with it all? I couldn't tell.

Dad came stumbling in grinning from ear-to-ear. He was so wasted he could hardly open his eyes. You could blindfold him with dental-floss.
"My son my son" he smiled and gave me a huge hug. "Oh I love you so much. You're such a good boy". As he was hugging me i looked over his shoulder to mum who was staring back extremely poker-faced.

Dad let go of me...walked to the bathroom muttering something about "my son" and "my boy" then proceeded to throw up violently. It honestly sounded like he was emptying a bucket down the toilet. It was loud and seemed to go on for ages. After what seemed like an eternity he finally stopped. The 2 seconds of silence was interrupted by him letting out a very loud fart. "Woops" he said. Then all I could hear was him giggling, obviously laughing at his own fart. Now my dad has one of those infectious laughs and I could tell that he was crying with laughter as he tends to sound a little like precious pup. He was laughing and laughing. That brought a smile to mums face who rolled her eyes and walked away.

Then he emptyed another bucketload down the bog before flushing stumbling out grinning. "Don't go in there" he said. "There's two smells going on" he laughed. I was laughing too by now. He gave me another hug and went to bed. He never spoke of it again. My parents never raised it in conversation. Looking back the whole thing was quite surreal. Apologies for lack of funnies, but this is just something that really stands out for me in my life :) weird huh
(Markygee Surname: "Balls". First name: "Lick-mah", Thu 3 Mar 2011, 0:15, 4 replies)

"You could blindfold him with dental-floss."
That's a great phrase. Click!
(McChinaman banned, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 2:57, closed)

Thanks for sharing!
*Click*
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 9:49, closed)

A click for:
"There's two smells going on"
(stubbledchin, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 10:36, closed)

*clickerty*
...from me!
(LadyTramp79 Left a bit, right a bit..., Thu 3 Mar 2011, 11:09, closed)