When I was a nipper...
there was a little stream near our house. It was filty, full of the usual rubbish, shopping trolleys, bikes, plastic bags etc. There was also a family of ducks that for some reason decided they liked living surrounded by all this shite.
As kids do, rather than appreciate the wonder of nature in the midst of our urban hell, we liked to annoy the ducks. One day I was passing the duck's usual hangout and decided to have some fun by throwing pebbles at them. Nothing too big mind. I didn't want to kill them, just get them flapping about a bit would be fun. I spotted a stone of the perfect size, about the size of a conker, and picked it up. I was surprised when it squashed between my thumb and forefinger. Strange smell too. Fucking horrible smell actually. So bad it made me gag, then puke when I realised what it was.
DOG SHIT!!!!
I haven't bothered any kind of fauna since.
(kendo saggy knackers, Sat 22 Dec 2007, 0:50, Reply)