My poor Gandaddy
Is a bit fuckin' nuts bless him. He's subject to paranoid delusions and dementia. Despite this, the days are never boring when he's around.

My dad got the first indication that he wasn't all there when he used to ring him up thinking that someone had broken into his house. 'You need to come round, I think someone's broken in!'
'SHIT' cries daddy. And drives the 2hours drive to visit him.
'Someones broken in and been moving things. The onaments are in the bedroom.'

'Did you do that?'

'No!.. Oh, actually.. maybe.'

Good grief. He then goes on the explain about the illegal immigrants that have moved into his shed but were hiding during the day and he couldnt catch them at night because he was afraid of them in the dark. And surprisingly the police didnt believe him.

It all got a bit sinister one day when he belived his 79 year old neighbour was tring to gas him out of his bedroom (!?) He believed that this frail, elderly man was drilling holes during the day and at night pumping toxic gas into his bedroom so he could claim his house and knock the wall through.

So he put his windows in.

My uncle lives in Spain and had come home for a few week to see my cousins. The immigrants in the shed story had changed to the ALIENS (I kid you not) in the shed.

I think that this was when they decided that something must have been up.

Anyway he was admitted to hospital for a dodgy ankle whereupon he proceeded to insult any nurse/doctor that didnt refer to him as 'The Colonel' and demanded to go back to the barracks.

Since then he's in a home and he's not as mental anymore. My dad had to clear out his house and found some folders. One of the folders was a list of every registration number that had parked out side his house and were numbered 1-10 on a scale of how threatening the VEHICLE looked and an explanation. It was apparant that he did not favour the Saxo as they were too common (a degree of truth there) so he was suspicious of them. There was another folder of ufo sightings over his house and drawings of figures entering his shed.


Maybe it was true after all?.... No.


Its not that funny really but it used to make me laugh
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 31 Oct 2008, 10:14, Reply)