When I were a nipper...
...there was an adventure playground near my home. You know the sort of thing: loads of planks of wood cobbled together shoddily with twelve inch nails, rope swings that didn't, huge colourful wooden logs...

Anyway, there was this thirty foot wooden slide which all the other kids used to slide down on bread crates, but me being a devil-may-care lad, I decided to forego the crate and slide down on my arse.

Cue much screaming and inability to walk as an 8cm x 5mm splinter (read: log) embedded itself in my right buttcheek about halfway through my journey and managed to completely bury itself during the rest of the slide so that we couldn't get the end of it to pull it out.

Spent six hours at the hospital having my arse sliced open and the offending article removed. Still have the scar...

Edit: Just remember: I also have stigmata on both feet. One from stamping on a piece of wood with a nail in it in our garden when I was about four, and the other from doing the same thing in a derelict building aged about fourteen, both of which went right through my feet. Couple those with my appendix scar, and all I need to do is pierce both hands and get a crown of thorns...
(ReLiC, Sat 4 Sep 2004, 11:34, Reply)