Of Water Parks and Cruelty to Children
First Born was 8. Hot summer's day and off we go to Water World. Featuring a newly installed enormous, 3-story tall, 45-degree, drop-and-plop-into-pool, slide.

Daughter wasn't having any of it. I being a good da' cajole, Dutch Uncle, and arm twist her into trying it. She at the top displaying serious symptoms of marthambles and space rabies in hopes of not having to go down the slide.

After much public hystrionics, she climbs into the slide, screaming like a gutted rabbit all the way down, a flailing landing, ending up with a Boo-Hoo-Hoo finale of an exit, and me getting the hairy-stinkeye-YouSHITparent! treatment from the rest of the queue behind.

5 minutes later it's lipperty-lipperty-lipperty "C'nwedoitagin! C'nwedoitagin!" Sorry kid, need some meds for the daggers in my back. We both have scars of different sorts from that day.
(shamblinthru Grasshopper! Next time use the potholders!, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 19:23, 4 replies)

Do they teach English where you come from?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 19:50, closed)

Maybe he has
an internet enabled enigma machine
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 20:52, closed)

Of Parsing Phrases and answering questions.
Gosh... you're right. Trying to tell stories without intonation, inflection, gesturing, or audiovisual aides. Guess I'm limited to subject/predicate, obscure vocabulary, punctuation, inteCAPing, fonts, underlining, italics, made up words, and inventive grammar to paint a story.

OR!!!!

I could copy the stylistic phrasing of .... say.... "Shambolic and the fucking hat." Let's try, shall we? --Ahem--

WTF!!!!! Ge'ROLF you fucking little fukdup fuck fucker! A'for I skullfuck yer fucking little fucked fuckhead with my fucking great fucking fuckfucker!

Better?
(shamblinthru Grasshopper! Next time use the potholders!, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 15:26, closed)

I liked it
Interesting style too, clicky for the daggers line!
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Sat 11 Jun 2011, 13:58, closed)