Smash Bang Wallop
One night, when I was about 14, my best mate was out with some Bigger Boys he vaguely knew. I never found out the details (he has since completely refused to talk about it to me) but I assume they were sixth formers - one of them had just passed his driving test. Anyway, they must have been bored and decided to go out for an drive about. Perhaps the guy was driving like a twat to show off his new skills, perhaps they were just unlucky, but either way wall met car and suddenly they weren't driving any more. Fortunately there were no serious injuries, but someone called an ambulance and things ended up with my mate having to spend a night in the hospital for observation.
The next day at school some people knew there'd been an 'incident', but because it was my best friend, and because the Bigger Boys didn't go to our school, I was the only person with all the information. When the first person or two asked I told them the real story, but pretty soon that got boring and I became... more inventive. I never really meant it to snowball quite so fast, but soon the entire school was buzzing with talk of how Dave was 'in a coma', 'fighting for his life', 'might not pull through'.
That morning, Dave's mum must have rung into school to explain why he'd be absent. I can only assume that the message was badly relaid or the conversation very brief, and that my teachers were too lazy/idiotic to double-check, because at morning break we were all called in for a special assembly.
"As many of you may have heard by now, last night Dave Smith was involved in a serious car accident. He's quite badly ill in hospital, and we all send our wishes." I forget exactly, but it went along those lines.

The next day, Dave turned up for school with a plaster on his cheek. The avalanche of questions on the school bus didn't prepare him for the looks of shock and bewilderment he recieved from everyone when he got to school - it was like they were looking at a ghost. He was called in to see the Head Teacher but it quickly became clear he was as bemused as everyone else and wasn't behind it all.

Even today, the occasional person walks up to him and asks "Aren't you the guy who was nearly killed in that big car crash a few years back?" Whenever it happens, I suppress a little smile. Because of the way the rumour spread and snowballed so fast I was never fingered, although I did own up to Dave a while later. He took it pretty well.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 0:52, 1 reply)

lol.. brilliant !
:D I would have elaborated that they also kept him in to sort out his crabs..
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:29, closed)