I got accused
Of faking it earlier today, actually.

So I'm in bed with this girl[1], and since we've already made the beast with two backs several times, naturally I'm a bit tired, and when she starts to go down on me, I did worry that I wouldn't be able to finish.

Somehow I managed it, and I thought she would stop, but she didn't, and kept going for a while afterwards (which actually hurt a little bit), and I was lying there thinking "how can you stop a girl from giving you a blowjob?"[2] until she eventually gave up, took it out of her mouth, and told me it had gone soft.

"Well I'm not surprised, I finished about ten minutes ago. Frankly I'm proud I was able to stay up for so long afterwards."
"You never came!"
"Believe me, I did. I'm pretty used to the feeling,"
"No, you can't have, there was no stuff!"
"Honestly, I did come, sometimes there's just not any come."
"That doesn't happen!"
"Of course it does!"
"If you didn't like it, you could have said."
"But I did like it, it was fantastic. Hence my orgasm."
"You must have faked it."
"Well, I didn't. If you want to believe that, then that's fine, but I'll just lie here being right, and you'll be wrong."

She didn't believe me, so she actually rang a friend of hers (a gay dude, who she described as "having had loads more cock than you") to find out whether it is possible for a man to come without any issue. He told her that it could happen, but then at the end of the phone call said "yeah, but he was faking it".

Well, she was right in a way, but she should have asked me about three hours earlier, because what she didn't seem to notice is that when we were fucking, I did finish a bit too early so had to carry on for ages and pretend to finish. I thought she would have spotted that one, but I got away with it, only to be falsely accused later on.

[1] who I really hope doesn't read b3ta.
[2] and if anyone can tell me, i'd be really grateful. i mean i suppose i could have just grabbed her and kissed her, but i don't think she'd have got the hint, she seemed to be enjoying herself.
(stapleface, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 3:56, 7 replies)

Easy
"how can you stop a girl from giving you a blowjob?"

Flatulence.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 8:22, closed)

...
You could always do a 'Peter Sutcliffe'
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 9:17, closed)

*hi 5* and I don't mean the kids show
the trick is to grab her and then go down on her instead. Use your fingers if your tongue is tired.

Oh and be honest, "honey I love it when you suck my cock, but its getting really sensitive".
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 9:28, closed)

[2]
Does the phrase "please stop" have no power?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 9:51, closed)

Mate
if she thinks it's ok to call her gay mate and bitch about whether or not you were faking it in front of you, you can do what ever the fuck you like to get her to stop.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 11:47, closed)

^ well...
There is your answer. Case closed.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 11:55, closed)

"how can you stop a girl from giving you a blowjob?"
I thought the standard answer to that was 'marry her'.

This is not however a short term solution and may have undesirable consequences.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 12:23, closed)