Many...
When I was little (about 5) I got into a habit of standing at doors listening after I'd left any room in some kind of very poor effort to find out what the grown ups all talked about.

Despite how super secret I thought I was being my parents could quite easily tell and used to loudly exclaim, "Has he gone? oh good, now we can get that huge chocolate cake that we've been saving out. Thank god Tom's not here or we'd have to give him some", as soon as I was out of the room.

Without fail I would come running back in going "Can I have some cake/why have you been hiding cake from me/where's this cake then?".

They developed this on a theme and progressed to ice cream and many other delicious foods and eventually to the more subtle (barely) trick of "Should we tell Tom about the party we're having?" "No, I think we'll have more fun without him". Then I'd run in crying.

This must have happened about forty or fifty times yet I still fell for it. I think in my mind they couldn't be tricking me, because they didn't know I was there...a bit like the whole If-I-can't-see-you-you-can't-see-me thing kids believe.

As well as a propensity to fool small children into believing they're missing out on treats I've also inherited a number of sayings from both my parents;

From my dad: "Let's get that ball back" said when we're just about to leave the house, sort of like "let's go" except totally useless in that you only ever say it JUST as you're leaving the house.

Bad jokes. Mostly in a deliberately misinterpreting what other people say kind of way. Any time anyone finishes a sentence with the word shortly as in, "I'll be down shortly" you have to relpy with, "Don't call me shortly".

Any time anyone says something like "I'll just put the kettle on" the reply is "I don't think it'd suit you".

Also not a joke but if it's cold the phrase is "Ooh it's a bit nippy", a perfectly ordinary phrase but it's the ONLY ONE YOU CAN EVER USE for some reason.

My mum always says "Nothing taste's nicer than a Pembleton Twicer", when anything is nice (not only food) and I do too, I think it's an old lolly advert but she could be making that up.

Also "Fish is the new black". We heard this once on tv when I was younger in some ridiculous cookery programme and it's now the phrase for anything that's the new cool thing. "Have you heard about *cool thing*? Fish is the new black."
(Hippo_of_Doom, Sat 22 Nov 2008, 2:15, 4 replies)

I am so nicking the fish one
to share with my brother :)
(idle insomniac enjoys listening to Sigur Rós at stupid hours, Sat 22 Nov 2008, 3:24, closed)

I remember Pembertons Twicers
I THINK it was a green and purple lollie in a spiral, something like DNA but colder.
(paof2 Nude might not be rude, but rude could be nude..., Sat 22 Nov 2008, 14:12, closed)

I
think you may be right, or at least you and my mum might both be wrong together, because that's what she thinks too.

Also forgot to say the line is to the same tune as "When will you pay me say the bells of old bailey"
(Hippo_of_Doom, Sat 22 Nov 2008, 16:39, closed)

Click for "I'll just put the kettle on"!
I'll be using that from now on. Another good one is when someone says something like "I feel like a sandwich", respond with "But you don't look like one!".
( waffle1 is lurking on, Sun 23 Nov 2008, 19:46, closed)