My stepfamily
This week's QOTW seems to handily match in with last week's for my story.

My stepfamily are probably the fartiest people I have ever met. Fortunately I'm not all that related.

My Dad likes to light his farts when he gets drunk at family Christmas gatherings and once decided to fart inside the (quite elderly) dog's tent-shaped, enclosed-style bed. The poor dog got into it, turned around once and stuck her head out again as if to say, "What have you done?"

Then again, this is the same dog who in her last few days sneezed and shot out a (now legendary) 100mph poo.

My stepmum has been described as "The only woman I've ever met who lights her own farts" and enjoys making everyone else join in the trumpeting with her favourite Winter dish - 'farty bean stew'. This is basically a mixture of about 5 or 6 different kinds of beans and vegetables like sprouts and I'm sure it's her way of getting free heating throughout the winter.

But my little sister, at the tender age of 2, possibly tops the lot. Recently I took my boyfriend to meet the mad stepfamily for the first time, and the five of us were sat at the table having some kind of conversation. Suddenly the conversation is interrupted with the loudest PPPPAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP! you ever heard. Boyfriend's hair ripples with the soundwaves and a surprised expression fills his face.

"Who was that?" he enquires, looking around the room and trying to avoid looking my father in the eye.
"Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Shouts the 2 year old, looking utterly delighted. Cue boyfriend's eyebrows nearly lifting off the top of his head and everybody else erupting into gales of laughter.

I would apologise, but he knows I like it
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Sat 14 Jul 2007, 15:41, Reply)